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Page 196—Wonderful Sea Serpent
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The Sea-Serpent as a Carrier The world-renowned sea-serpent has been specially chartered to bring a fresh supply of books every week from England to Cole's Book Arcade, Melbourne; and also to show upon the coils of his body 2000 rainbows, being so many copies of that establishment. The sea-serpent, upon being communicated with, demanded a heavy price for his services, but Mr. Cole agreed to his terms, as he considered that 2000 of his rainbow signs travelling round the world on the sides of the famous sea-serpent would be a good advertisement for the Book Arcade. |
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True History of the Great Sea Serpent John Smith, the sea-serpent, was born in a swamp near Sydney, about 5000 years ago. He was hatched by a female Bunyip from an immense three cornered egg, which is supposed to have fallen out of the moon, and he is the only sea-serpent that ever existed. He never had relations, and is the only being in the world of whom the verse is true. He never had a father. He never had a mother. He never had a sister. He never had a brother. He also never had a wife. He is of a very shy disposition, and many fascinating mermaids have made love to him, and practiced all their well-known wiles upon him—but in vain: he is a bachelor still. Like some other animals mentioned in history, he thinks and talks like a man. He is exceedingly intelligent, and seems to have as much sense as 20,000 ordinary men or 21,000 women. He can sing with a voice of tremendous compass, from the sweet piping of a nightingale down to far below the deepest tones of the largest organ, or the noise made by discharges of artillery. Sometimes when he sings it shakes the ground for miles around, and if at sea causes a storm. His favourite songs are "A Life on the Ocean Wave," "What are the Wild Waves Saying," "Down by the Deep Sad Sea," and such like. He plays all the musical instruments in the world. His whistle can be heard a distance of 100 miles, his shout 50 miles, and his whisper 10 miles. Of course, in an active life of 5000 years, a life almost as long as some Hindoo patriarchs, he has seen and heard, and done, many astonishing things. He relates that he once rescued a travelling menagerie at sea, he swallowed the whole lot of animals, and the woman in charge of them, let them roam about inside of him and enjoy themselves, and then landed them safely on dry land at the end of 48 hours. He says that he was in Arabia, and saw that remarkable occurrence of the moon coming down and going into Mahomet's sleeves, and there and then he objected to the whole proceeding. The sea-serpent is 15 miles long and 50 feet in diameter, his skin is of a horny nature, but harder than steel, and about 5 feet thick. He travels at the rate of 200 miles per hour, and can carry 120 times as much as the "Great Eastern." If he was coming up to the Queen's Wharf, Melbourne, when his head was at the wharf, his body would reach right down the River Yarra out in the Bay past Williamstown, and the Traffic would have to be stopped in the river whilst he was unloading. The sea-serpent is rather a large eater. Since he reached full growth, namely, for the last 4000 years, he has swallowed a whole whale every morning for breakfast except once. The reason of his going without his breakfast that once is explained in the following manner:— The reader will remember the account of Jonah and the Whale in the Talmud. It states that when Jonah was in the whale's belly, it went out of the Mediterranean right around Africa into the Red Sea, and that Jonah looked out through the eyes of the whale and saw the place where the children of Israel crossed the Red Sea. The sea-serpent states that he can corroborate this piece of history, as he happened to be after that very whale for breakfast when he saw Jonah looking out through its eyes. He says he did not swallow that whale, as he had found that the whales which he had previously swallowed with prophets inside of them did not agree with him, and consequently he had to go that morning without his breakfast, the first time in 4000 years. Those who want any further information about the famous sea-serpent can acquire it at Cole's Book Arcade, Melbourne, or come and interview and question the sea-serpent himself when he arrives. P.S.—Some people don't believe in the existence of the sea-serpent, but if he did not exist how could we have got his likeness and his history? That's a question for the unbelievers to answer. |
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Page 197—Funny and Foolish Dress Land
