“It’s too bad Josh don’t know she’s a widow,” remarked Bill, “fer them two might git married now, if they wanted to.”
Bill labored long in lettering out the notice of the next annual turkey shoot, which he tacked up in the store.
There was a full attendance when the day came. The weather was again pleasant, the blood letting was satisfactory, and no untoward incident marred the joy of the occasion.
When the shooting was over Bill pounded officially on a barrel top and called the business meeting to order.
“The first thing to be done at this meet’n is to ’lect a new Chief Gobbler, fer this one has now resigned. This chair has quit, an’ now pays its parting respects to all the members. I say now that this chair has been blasphemed an’ jumped on fer five years. Nothin’ has ever been done right. Ev’rybody has cussed the chair right an’ left, an’ the chair has never peeped or said a word back. In quit’n this hon’able office this chair now makes answer to all them sore heads that’s been criticize’n it fer all these years, an’ that answer is BAH!!!!
“Now we’ll perceed to nominations fer the chair’s successor.”
A Voice:—“I nom’nate Mr. Bill Stiles fer the ensuin’ year, an’ I move it be made unimous.”
The Chair:—“Is there no other nominations?”
Another Voice:—“I nom’nate Mr. Josh Varney, an’ I move it be made unimous.” (Chorus of cat calls.)
A voice from the rear:—“I move that the chair stops smokin’ when it’s presidin’ an’ I move we adjourn!”