‘All that it was necessary I should know for your honour, or, as some might think, for my own happiness; no more, I would listen to no more. I had no idle curiosity to gratify. It is enough that your heart is another’s; I seek not, I wish not, to know that person’s name.’
‘I cannot mention it,’ said Ferdinand; ‘but there is no secret from you. Glastonbury may—should tell all.’
‘Amid the wretched she is not the least miserable,’ said Miss Grandison.
‘O Katherine!’ said Ferdinand, after a moment’s pause, ‘tell me that you do not hate me; tell me that you pardon me; tell me that you think me more mad than wicked!’
‘Ferdinand,’ said Miss Grandison, ‘I think we are both unfortunate.’
‘I am without hope,’ said Ferdinand; ‘but you, Katherine, your life must still be bright and fair.’
‘I can never be happy, Ferdinand, if you are not. I am alone in the world. Your family are my only relations; I cling to them. Your mother is my mother; I love her with the passion of a child. I looked upon our union only as the seal of that domestic feeling that had long bound us all. My happiness now entirely depends upon your family; theirs I feel is staked upon you. It is the conviction of the total desolation that must occur if our estrangement be suddenly made known to them, and you, who are so impetuous, decide upon any rash course, in consequence, that has induced me to sustain the painful part that I now uphold. This is the reason that I would not reproach you, Ferdinand, that I would not quarrel with you, that I would not desert them in this hour of their affliction.’
‘Katherine, beloved Katherine!’ exclaimed the distracted Ferdinand, ‘why did we ever part?’
‘No! Ferdinand, let us not deceive ourselves. For me, that separation, however fruitful at the present moment in mortification and unhappiness, must not be considered altogether an event of unmingled misfortune. In my opinion, Ferdinand, it is better to be despised for a moment than to be neglected for a life.’
‘Despised! Katherine, for God’s sake, spare me; for God’s sake, do not use such language! Despised! Katherine, at this moment I declare most solemnly all that I feel is, how thoroughly, how infamously unworthy I am of you! Dearest Katherine, we cannot recall the past, we cannot amend it; but let me assure you that at this very hour there is no being on earth I more esteem, more reverence than yourself.’