There is a certain dignity of manners, without which the very best characters will not be valued.
Romping, loud and frequent laughing, punning, joking, mimickry, waggery, and too great and indiscriminate familiarity, will render any one contemptible, in spite of all his knowledge or his merit. These may constitute a merry fellow, but a merry fellow was never yet respectable. Indiscriminate familiarity, will either offend your superiors, or make you pass for their dependant, or toad-eater, and it will put your inferiors on a degree of equality with you, that may be troublesome.
A joke, if it carries a sting along with it, is no longer a joke but an affront; and even if it has no sting, unless its witticism is delicate and facetious, instead of giving pleasure, it will disgust; or, if the company should laugh, they will probably laugh at the jester rather than the jest.
Punning is a mere playing upon words, and far from being a mark of sense: Thus, were we to say, such a dress is commodious, one of these wags would answer odious; or, that, whatever it has been, it is now be commodious. Others will give us an answer different from what we should expect, without either wit, or the least beauty of thought; as, ‘Where’s my Lord?’—‘In his clothes, unless he is in bed.’—‘How does this wine taste?’—‘A little moist, I think.’—‘How is this to be eaten?’—‘With your mouth;’ and so on, all which (you will readily apprehend) are low and vulgar. If your witticisms are not instantly approved by the laugh of the company, for heaven’s sake, don’t attempt to be witty for the future; for you may take it for granted, the defect is in yourself, and not in your hearers.
As to a mimick or a wag, he is little else than a buffoon, who will distort his mouth and his eyes to make people laugh. Be assured, no one person ever demeaned himself to please the rest, unless he wished to be thought the Merry-Andrew of the company, and whether this character is respectable, I will leave you to judge.
If a man’s company is coveted on any other account than his knowledge, his good sense, or his manners, he is seldom respected by those who invite him, but made use of only to entertain. ‘Let’s have such-a-one, for he sings a good song, or he is always joking or laughing;’ or ‘Let’s send for such-a-one, for he is a good bottle companion;’ these are degrading distinctions, that preclude all respect and esteem. Whoever is had (as the phrase is) for the sake of any qualification singly, is merely that thing he is had for, is never considered in any other light, and, of course, never properly respected, let his intrinsic merits be what they will.
You may possibly suppose this dignity of manners to border upon pride; but it differs as much from pride, as true courage from blustering.
To flatter a person right or wrong, is abject flattery, and to consent readily to do every thing proposed by a company, be it silly or criminal, is full as degrading, as to dispute warmly upon every subject, and to contradict upon all occasions. To preserve dignity, we should modestly assert our own sentiments, though we politely acquiesce in those of others.
So again, to support dignity of character, we should neither be frivolously curious about trifles, nor be laboriously intent upon little objects that deserve not a moment’s attention; for this implies an incapacity in matters of greater importance.
A great deal likewise depends upon our air, address and expressions; an awkward address and vulgar expressions infer either a low turn of mind, or low education.