“Theer’s a mort for God to bear in mind, but ’t is hard, here an’ there, wheer He slips awver some lowly party an’ misses a humble whisper. Clamour if you want to be heard; doan’t go with bated breath same as I done. ’T was awnly a li’l thing I axed, an’ axed it twice a day on my knees, ever since my man died twenty-three year agone. An’ often as not thrice Sundays, so you may count up the number of times I axed if you mind to. Awnly a li’l rubbishy thing you might have thought: just to bring his fair share o’ prosperity to Clem an’ keep my bones out the poorhouse at the end. But my bwoy ’s brawk his neck by a cruel death, an’ I must wear the blue cotton.”
“No, no, mother.”
“Ess. Not that it looks so hard as it did. This makes it easy—” and she put her hand on her son’s forehead and left it there a moment.
Presently she continued:
“I axed Clem to turn the bee-butts at my sister’s passing—Mrs. Lezzard. But he wouldn’t; an’ now they’ll be turned for him. Wise though the man was, he set no store on the dark, hidden meaning of honey-bees at times of death. Now the creatures be masterless, same as you an’ me; an’ they’ll knaw it; an’ you’ll see many an’ many a-murmuring on his graave ’fore the grass graws green theer; for they see more ’n what we can.”
She relapsed into motionless silence and, herself now wholly tearless, watched the tears of Chris, who had sunk down on the floor between the mother and son.
“Why for do you cry an’ wring your hands so hard?” she asked suddenly. “You’m awnly a girl yet—young an’ soft-cheeked wi’ braave bonny eyes. Theer’ll be many a man’s breast for you to comfort your head on. But me! Think o’ what’s tearin’ my auld heart to tatters—me, so bleared an’ ugly an’ lonely. God knaws God’s self couldn’t bring no balm to me—none, till I huddle under the airth arter un; but you—your wound won’t show by time the snaw comes again.”
“You forget when you loved a man first if you says such a thing as that.”
“Theer’s no eternal, lasting fashion o’ love but a mother’s to her awn male childer,” croaked the other. “Sweethearts’ love is a thing o’ the blood—a trick o’ Nature to tickle us poor human things into breeding ’gainst our better wisdom; but what a mother feels doan’t hang on no such broken reed. It’s deeper down; it’s hell an’ heaven both to wance; it’s life; an’ to lose it is death. See! Essterday I’d ’a’ fought an’ screamed an’ took on like a gude un to be fetched away to the Union; but come they put him in the ground, I’ll go so quiet as a lamb.”
Another silence followed; then the aged widow pursued her theme, at first in the same dreary, cracked monotone, then deepening to passion.