“Ah—so it was. Socialism—eh? Is the lecture getting on your nerves?”
“No, not at all. But I hope it’ll get on other people’s. I look forward to it.”
“Well, get to Dartmoor, and if your stroke doesn’t come back when you return, see me again.”
Kellock repeated his interview exactly, and Mr. Trood was much gratified. They went home in the best of spirits, and that evening Medora devoted to Jordan. He became more and more distracted and pre-occupied, however. She avoided personal subjects, and wanted him to read the lecture aloud; but this he would not do.
“Now that you are going to hear it,” he said, “I’ll let you off till then.”
He declared himself tired and went to his bed before ten o’clock. But he did not sleep. He had much thinking to do, and many hours elapsed before he arrived at any conclusion. His mind was entirely occupied with Medora, and her future caused him to pass through deep anxieties and fruitless regrets. Her loyal attitude that day had moved him much, for he supposed that Dingle’s decision must have come upon her with force at least as crushing as it had fallen on himself. Yet how bravely she had borne it, how unselfishly she had put it away from her, and devoted herself to him and his tribulations! Doubtless now, alone, she too considered the gravity of the situation, and lay awake in distress.
He had a human impulse to go and comfort her, to declare that nothing mattered while they shared their great love, to explain that since Dingle would not legally release her, they must take the law into their own hands. But another, and far more characteristic line of thought developed, and in the dominating and directing forces awakened by it, he followed his natural bent, and at last arrived at a decision. He perceived his duty towards Medora, albeit action appeared impossible until he had spoken with her. Yet, to put the matter before Medora might defeat his object, for there could be no doubt that Medora was his, heart and soul. He felt, therefore, that he must, after all, act without her knowledge, for he believed that if she knew his purpose, she would strive to prevent it.