The Human Boy

by Eden Phillpotts

After this eksitement I got a curious feeling in my stomach, and telling Bailey, he sed it was either hunger or fear. And I sed it was hunger; but Bailey sed, seeing what a hevy meal we had made with sorsage and bred and turpentine juice only two hours before, that it was fear.

I sed if he thought so he’d better go on without me, as I hadn’t taken to this corse of life to be cheeked by him. And he sed he was leeder of the gang, and I was the gang, and the first thing was to lern to obey orders. And then I got rather cross with Bailey, and asked him who he thort he was to give me orders, and reminded him my pistell could go off anyway, which was more than his could. This worried him a good deal, becorse, of course, the man whose pistell went off had the best of it. Then he sed that it was no good having a quarrel between ourselves while we were not yet out of danger. He also said that he beleeved we might venture to take one hour’s sleep to strengthen us before getting on to Oakshott, and I sed, “Yes,” but thought that one of us ought to watch while the other slept. Bailey said he would watch first, and he sed also that we might get to the woodman’s hut in the middle of Merivale Woods if we kept on past a ded fir-tree with its stem white, becorse all the bark was off, which we did, becorse the moon was now shining very britely, and the rain had stopped. The cold was also friteful, and my teath chattered once or twice, but I broke sticks and things to attract Bailey, becorse if he had herd my teath he would have sed it was fear again.

Once a bough jumped back and hit Bailey a friteful smack in the face, and I was glad, and he sed he rather thort his eye was done for; and he sed it didn’t much matter if it was, so long as he had one good eye to see with, becorse most buckeneers lost an eye sooner or later, though generally with a stroak from a cutlass.

We found the hut, and there was some dry fern in it, and we lighted a candle-end we had, and took off our boots, and wrung out our socks, and each had half a currant dumpling. Then Bailey looked at his watch and sed I might turn in for half an hour. Then he would wake me and turn in for half an hour himself. He went on gard with another candle-end, and advised me to draw my pistell and sleep with it cocked under my head. But I sed I never herd of such a dangerous thing as that being done, and kept my pistell reddy cocked near my hand. I didn’t fall off to sleep, as I expected, owing to anxiaty as to our fate, but I shut my eyes and thort a good deal, and after my eyes had been shut some time I opened one a little and was grately surprised to see Bailey coming towards me steelthily. He had his pistell in his hand, and first I had a horrible thort he wanted to kill me, so that he mite have all our food and money; and then I felt sure he was coming to change pistells, so that he might have the one that went off. This made me get in a friteful wax with him, becorse I saw he was very unreliable and not reely as much of a chum as I had thort. So I waited untill I saw him stretch out his hand for my pistell, and then I leapt at his throat in a very ferocious way, that much surprized him. I also sed “Hell!” like the keeper had.

It must have been a solumn site by the lite of the candle-end when we began to fight tooth-and-nail for the pistell which could go off. We were both desperet, and it was reelly a battle to deside which should be the leeder of the enterprise and which should be merely the gang. Then, while we wresled and straned every nerve, a curious thing happened, for we fell against the candle-end, stuck on the top of a stick, and the candle-end fell against the side of the hut, and the hut, being made of wood, with walls of dried heather, was very inflameable and cort fire almost immediately.

And then Bailey sed we must aggree to settle our dispute later on and fli at once. So we each took our own pistell, and were just going to leave the scene, when, to our grate horror, we herd voices, and among them the voices of Browne and Mainwaring, who were, of corse, house-masters at Merivale.

Exhorsted though we were, me and Bailey made a terrible effort to escape, and I think we mite have done so even then, but, oweing to the moon and two other men who were with Mainwaring, we could not reach an impennetrable part of the wood, and finally Mainwaring cort me, and a man cort Bailey, and they dragged us into the light of the blazing ruins of the hut, and we found out that Browne and Mainwaring had come after us, like beestly blood-hounds, and had met the keeper, who told them he had been fired upon, and then the unfortunate burning of the hut had directed their steps towards us. And it’s a lesson in a way, showing what risks it is for buckeneers to fall out among themselves at kritikal moments.

Of corse we had to walk back merely as prisoners of Mainwaring, but Bailey told me not to answer questions and rather let them cut our tongues out than know the truth. So they didn’t get anything out of us, and when we got back, at two o’clock in the morning, Dunston was up to meet us; and by that time, what with cold and bruises and the failure of the skeem, I wasn’t equal to defying Dunston, and merely sed we wanted to change our corse of life for something different, and had started to do so. And I also sed that burning the hut was an axsident which might have happened to anybody. And Bailey sed the same.

Then Doctor Dunston sent for the matron, and we had brandy-and-water and a hot bath, which was very refreshing to me, but Bailey sed biterly when he was in it that he had thought that morning never to have had a bath again. He also sed we should be put in sepperate bedrooms that night, and that if either of us got an opportunety to eskape, it was his duty to reskue the other. But I sed I didn’t want to eskape, being fritefully sleepy and exhorsted, and I sed that if he eskaped he needn’t trubble to reskue me, becorse if I returned again to being a buckeneer it certinnly wouldn’t be with him.

I didn’t see any more of him until next day; then we were taken in like prisinners of war before the school, and Doctor Dunston lecktured upon us as if we were beests of pray, and he sed that a corse of falty literatuer was to blame for our running away, and sed that the school liberary must be reformed. But he never knew the grate truth, becorse he sed we were onley running away to sea becorse of the fascenation of the ocean to the British karacter, when reely it was to be buckeneers and the terrer of the Mediterranan.