It is a most eccentric Nose; it comes within no possible category; it is like no other man’s; it has good points, and bad points, and no point at all. When you think it is going right on for a Roman, it suddenly becomes a Greek; when you have written it down Cogitative, it becomes as sharp as a knife. At first view it seems a Celestial; but Celestial it is not; its Celestiality is not heavenward, but right out into illimitable space, pointing—we know not where. It is a regular Proteus; when you have caught it in one shape, it instantly becomes another. Turn it, and twist it, and view it how, when, or where you will, it is never to be seen twice in the same shape, and all you can say of it is, that it’s a queer one. And such exactly is my Lord Brougham—verily my Lord Brougham, and my Lord Brougham’s Nose have not their likeness in heaven or earth—and the button at the end is the cause of it all.
Thus, though Lord Brougham’s Nose is an exception to our classification, it is not, as has been asserted, an exception to our system. On the contrary, it is manifestly a strong corroboration of it. The only exceptions are those where the character does not correspond with the Nose, and of those we have yet to hear.
There is another Nose which is not included in the classification, but which, though not peculiar to one individual, is nevertheless not sufficiently frequent to demand placing there. This we call the Parabolic Nose. It would have been a good Nose if it had gone on as it began; but having from some cause taken an inward curve too soon, its good qualities become nearly nullified. It presents a continued Parabolic curve, where it ought to extend into an angular tip. This sudden abbreviation of course weakens the character, but, as it leaves the good qualities of the upper part still inherent, the character retains good points; but being disabled from reasoning justly on its good intentions, it acquires the character of obstinacy, and of acting from pig-headedness, instead of from rational forethought.
George III. presents the best-known example of this Nose.
Another striking example occurs in Blanco White. There were considerable points of identity between their characters.
They were both honest, conscientious men, anxious to find out and pursue the right course, but both were too hasty in jumping to conclusions to form accurate judgments. Blanco White, anxious to embrace truth, led a regular harlequin dance after her all his life, and died in motley. One leg red and the other blue, with a jacket of various colours, and a coxcomb of brilliant self-conceit. His last verdict, after rambling through divers forms of religion and no religion, was, “I am neither Trinitarian, nor Unitarian, nor yet Arian.” First Roman Catholic, then Atheist, then Church of England, then Unitarian, then Arian, then Omniarian, his ardent, hasty mind settled like a butterfly on the first bright flower which fluttered in the breeze, for a time imbibed and luxuriated on its honey, and then flew off to suck the sweets of some other plant. Thus he fluttered on, a varied, anxious, unsettled existence, gathering honey, but making none; and when the colds and storms of winter came, he sank before them.
The instances of the Parabolic Nose are, however, too few among celebrated persons to enable us to supply illustrations probative of the accuracy of our notions of its indications. It is, however, by no means an uncommon Nose, and from personal observation among our cotemporaries, we should say that it is not a very desirable form, as we incline to think that it indicates obstinacy without any great elevation of mind, or deep capacity of reasoning. But it would perhaps, at present, be most prudent not to express decidedly what are its indications, &c. Should we be able to do so at any future time, it will be entitled to stand as Class VII.
CHAPTER VIII.
OF FEMININE NOSES.
The subject of Nasology would not be complete without some observations on the Feminine Nose, because sex modifies the indications, some of which, though disagreeable and repulsive in a man, are rather pleasing, fascinating, and bewitching in a woman, and vice versâ.
It is the fashion for women to aspire to equality with the other sex, and as long as they will be content with an equality, in a different orbit, they are undoubtedly entitled to it. It should, however, be the equality of planets—each perfect and beautiful, each useful and beneficial in its sphere; but pregnant with disorder and confusion when Venus would invade the orbit of Jupiter, or intrude within the circuit of Mars.