Our advice to a man would be this: if you are at a loss, after long cogitation—as ten to one you will be—to know whether an intended act is morally right, ask a sensible woman, and she will guide you with perfect wisdom in a minute. So, again, if you would know any one’s moral character, let a sensible woman converse with him for five minutes, and she will tell you without fail whether he may be trusted. Only be careful to accept her first dictum; don’t argue the point with her, nor give her time to think; have her instinctive decision. If she thinks, she will be ten times more at fault than a man; and, if you argue the matter with her, she will lead you a dance through as fine a quagmire of absurdities as can be conceived, and there leave you, up to your neck in the slough, without the power—if not without the will—to help you out. And this needfully so. Instinct must ever be a better guide than Reason; for
“In this (Instinct) ’tis God that acts, in that (Reason) ’tis man.”
“The perception of a woman,” says Sherlock, “is as quick as lightning. Her penetration is intuition, almost instinct. By a glance she will draw a quick and just conclusion. Ask her how she formed it, and she cannot answer the question. While she trusts her instinct she is scarcely ever deceived, but she is generally lost when she begins to reason.” A more accurate picture of the female mind was never drawn; yet some modern writers have fiercely controverted it. Under a mistaken notion of equalizing women with men, they seek to destroy the individualism of their character. One witty popular writer has even ventured to assert, that if half-a-dozen boys were brought up as girls, and half-a-dozen girls as boys, the latter would be to all intents psychologically men, and the former psychologically women. Surely a more preposterous absurdity never won the assent of the unthinking part of the community; nevertheless, it has been warmly applauded and often repeated, as if it were an ascertained fact instead of a ridiculous fancy.
The Jewish Nose is not very frequent among women. Neither are its indications material to the perfection of the female character. It is the duty of men to relieve women from the cares of commercial life, and to stand between them and those who would impose upon their credulity. Moreover, woman’s natural penetration supplies the want of the thoughtful sagacity which protects men in inter-commercial relations.
The remarks which we made on the Snub Nose and the Celestial Nose in men, require to be considerably modified when we treat of those classes in women.
The Celestial Nose feminine is that which has won so much admiration and celebrity among French writers under the designation of “le nez retroussé.” They almost universally acknowledge its irresistible piquancy and animation. According to Marmontel, “un petit nez retroussé renvers les lois d’un empire;” a dictum which we are not disposed to dispute.
We confess a lurking penchant, a sort of sneaking affection which we cannot resist, for the latter of these in a woman. It does not command our admiration and respect like the Greek, to which we could bow down as to a goddess, but it makes sad work with our affections. The former, too, is not so unbearable as in a man. It is a great marrer of beauty, undoubtedly; but merely regarded as an index of weakness, it claims our kindly consideration. Weakness in a woman—which is gentleness, feminacy—is excusable and rather loveable; while in a man it is detestable. It is woman’s place to be supported, not to support. Hence the classical emblem of the Vine and the Elm is felt to be beautiful and true, because it pourtrays accurately the natural mutual position of husband and wife. A woman, moreover, has generally tact sufficient to conceal (often to their entire annihilation) those unprepossessing characteristics of the Snub and the Celestial, which in a weak man become every day more and more strongly marked. A woman’s weakness, too, is rather flattering, as it attests our supremacy; a thing which we like to be constantly reminded of, and of which we are very jealous, as it stands on rather ticklish and much disputed ground.
The impudence, too, which is utterly unendurable in a male Celestial, and which seems to court contact with the toe of one’s boot, is in a woman rather piquant and interesting. A Celestial Nose in a woman is frequently an index of wit. Wit is a talent not emanating from wisdom; quite the reverse. The wisest men are ofttimes the slowest. Wisdom comes after thought, wit before it. A Celestial-nosed woman is only more witty than a similarly gifted man, because the impudence which it invariably indicates is backed by woman’s ever-ready tact and quickness.
The indications are not varied; but the exhibitions are. Even if a man were gifted with the power of uttering the severe witticisms and cutting repartees which are nectar and ambrosia from the lips of a pretty woman, he dare not; for he would be inevitably kicked down stairs—if the fellow were worth the exertion.
In a witty woman who can skirmish with unflinching quickness and dexterity, we can even forgive a slight moral delinquency. A little white-lie simpered out with arch assurance by a pair of demure lips,