Look after your relations,
And the God above will keep you happy.
Five sons and four daughters
Shall compose your family.
A predominance of sons is always considered desirable, and, with five sons and four daughters, the mystic number nine is reached.
No widows, women who have remarried, or girls dedicated as prostitutes, are allowed to join the wedding circle, as they would be of evil omen to the bride. Widows and remarried women must have lost a husband, and the prostitute never knows the God to whose service she is dedicated. On the third day, the rice-throwing ceremony is repeated, but on this occasion the bride and bridegroom pour some of the rice over each other’s heads before the women officiate. This ends the marriage ceremony, but, as among some other classes, consummation is prohibited for at least three months, as a very strong superstition exists that three heads should not enter a door within one year. The bride and bridegroom are the first two heads to enter the new home, and the birth of a child within the year would constitute the third. This undesirable event is rendered less likely by a postponement of consummation. After the prescribed time has lapsed, the bride, with feigned reluctance, is escorted by her female relations to her husband’s hut. On the way obscene pleasantries, which evoke much merriment, are indulged in. The bride’s pretended reluctance necessitates a certain amount of compulsion, and she is given an occasional shove. Finally, she is thrust into the door of the hut, and the attendant women take their departure.
The following details in another form of the marriage rites may be noted. The bridegroom proceeds on a Saturday to the settlement of the bride, where a hut has been set up for him close to that of the bride. Both the huts should face the east. On the following day, the headman, or an elder, brings a tray containing betel, flowers and kankanams (wrist-threads). He ties the threads round the wrists of the bride and bridegroom, and also round a pestle and mortar and a crowbar. A distribution of rice to all present, including infants, follows, and pork and mutton are also distributed. Towards evening, married women go, with music produced by beating on a brass tray, to a well or tank, with three pots beneath a canopy (ulladam). The pots are filled with water, and placed near the marriage milk-post. The bride takes her seat on a plank, and the bridegroom is carried on the shoulders of his brother-in-law, and conducted to another plank. Three married women, and some old men, then pour rice over the heads of the pair, while the following formula is repeated: “Try to secure four pairs of donkeys, a few pigs and cattle; live well and amicably; feed your guests well; grow wise and live.” The couple are then taken to the bride’s hut, the entrance to which is guarded by several married women, who will not allow them to enter till the bridegroom has given out the name of the bride. Within the hut, the pair exchange food three times, and what remains after they have eaten is finished off by some married men and women. That night the pair sleep in the bride’s hut, together with the best man and bridesmaid. On the following day, a feast is held, at which every house must be represented by at least one married woman. Towards evening, the bridegroom takes the bride to his hut, and, just before they start, her mother ties up some rice in her cloth. At the entrance to the hut, a basket, called Kolāpuriamma’s basket, is placed. Depositing a winnowing tray thereon, the bride pours the rice which has been given to her on it. The rice is then transferred by the bridegroom to the mortar, and he and the bride pound it with the pestle and crowbar. The tāli is then tied by the bridegroom round the bride’s neck.
In connection with marriage, Mr. Fawcett writes as follows. “A girl’s mother’s brother’s son has the right to have her to wife, and, if his right is abrogated by giving her to another, he (or his father?) receives a penalty from the man to whom she is given. The girl’s maternal uncle disposes of the girl. In the Coimbatore district, however, it is the father who is said to do so; indeed it is said that the father can even take a girl away from her husband, and give her to another for a higher bride-price. Prior to marriage proper, there is the betrothal, accompanied by presentation of betel leaves and draughts of toddy, when the maternal uncle or father repeats a regular formula which is answered word for word by the girl’s party, in which he agrees to hand over the girl for such a price, at the same time requiring that she shall receive no bodily injury or have her hair cut, and, if she is returned damaged physically, payment shall be made according to a fixed rate. It should be said that the betrothal sometimes takes place at a tavern, the favourite haunt of the Koravas, where the bridegroom’s party offers a pail of toddy to the father of the girl and his party. The emptying of this pail seals the marriage contract, and involves the father of the girl into payment of the bride-price as a fine, together with a fine of Rs. 2 for every male child, and Rs. 4 for every female child that may be born. This penalty, which is known as ranku, is not, as a rule, pressed at once, but only after some children have been born. The day of marriage, generally a Sunday, is fixed by a Brāhman, who receives betel nuts, cocoanuts, one rupee, or even less. He selects an auspicious day and hour for the event. The hour selected is rather early in the evening, so that the marriage may be consummated the same night. A few days before the appointed day, two unmarried lads cut a branch of the nāval tree (Eugenia Jambolana), and throw it into a tank (pond) or river, where it is left until the wedding day, when the same two lads bring it back, and plant it in the ground near the dwelling of the bride, and on either side of it is placed a pot of water (brought from the tank or river where the branch had been left to soak) carried thither by two married women under a canopy. The mouth of each pot is closed by placing on top an earthen vessel on which is a lamp. The bride and bridegroom sit on donkey saddles spread on the ground, and undergo the nalugu ceremony, in which their hands and feet are rubbed nine times with saffron (turmeric) coloured red with chunam (lime). The elders bless the couple, throwing rice over their heads with crossed hands, and all the while the women chant monotonously a song such as this:—
Galianame Baipokame Sobaname,
Oh, Marriage giver of happiness and prosperity!