When the bride and bridegroom come to the wedding booth dressed in their new clothes, the Brāhman purōhit gives them the threads (kankanam), which are to be tied round their wrists. The tāli is passed round to be blessed by those assembled, and handed to the bridegroom, who ties it on the bride’s neck. While he is so doing, his sister holds a light called Kamākshi vilakku. Kamākshi, the goddess at Conjeeveram, is a synonym for Siva’s consort Parvathi. The music of the flute is sometimes accompanied by the blowing of the conch shell while the tāli is being tied, and omens are taken from the sounds produced thereby. The tāli-tying ceremony concluded, the couple change their seats, and the ends of their clothes are tied together. Rice is thrown on their heads, and in front of them, and the near relations may tie gold or silver plates called pattam. The first to do this is the maternal uncle. Bride and bridegroom then go round the dais and milk-post, and, at the end of the second turn, the bridegroom lifts the bride’s left foot, and places it on the grindstone. At the end of the third turn, the brother-in-law, in like manner, places the bridegroom’s left foot on the stone, and puts on a toe-ring. For so doing, he receives a rupee and betel. The contracting couple are then shown the pole-star (Arundhati), and milk and fruit are given to them. Towards evening, the wrist-threads are removed, and they proceed to a tank for a mock ploughing ceremony. The bridegroom carries a ploughshare, and the bride a small pot containing conji (rice gruel). A small patch of ground is turned up, and puddled so as to resemble a miniature field, wherein the bridegroom plants some grain seedlings. A miniature Pillayar (Ganēsa) is made with cow-dung, and betel offered to it. The bridegroom then sits down, feigning fatigue, and the bride gives him a handful of rice, which his brother-in-law tries to prevent him from eating. The newly-married couple remain for about a week at the bride’s house, and are then conducted to that of the bridegroom, the brother-in-law carrying a hundred or a hundred and ten cakes. Before they enter the house, coloured water and a cocoanut are waved in front of them, and, as soon as she puts foot within her new home, the bride must touch pots containing rice and salt with her right hand. A curious custom among the Pallis at Kumbakōnam is that the bride’s mother, and often all her relatives, are debarred from attending her marriage. The bride is also kept gōsha (in seclusion) for all the days of the wedding.[22]
It is noted by Mr. Hemingway that some of the Pandamuttu Pallis of the Trichinopoly district “practice the betrothal of infant girls, the ceremony consisting of pouring cow-dung water into the mouth of the baby. They allow a girl to marry a boy younger than herself, and make the latter swallow a two-anna bit, to neutralise the disadvantages of such a match. Weddings are generally performed at the boy’s house, and the bride’s mother does not attend. The bride is concealed from view by a screen.”
It is said that, some years ago, a marriage took place at Panruti near Cuddalore on the old Svayamvara principle described in the story of Nala and Damayanti in the Mahābhārata. According to this custom, a girl selects a husband from a large number of competitors, who are assembled for the purpose.
Widow remarriage is permitted. At the marriage of a widow, the tāli is tied by a married woman, the bridegroom standing by the side, usually inside the house. Widow marriage is known as naduvittu tāli, as the tāli-tying ceremony takes place within the house (naduvīdu).
To get rid of the pollution of the first menstrual period, holy water is sprinkled over the girl by a Brāhman, after she has bathed. She seats herself on a plank, and rice cakes (puttu), a pounding stone, and ārathi are waved in front of her. Sugar and betel are then distributed among those present.
The dead are sometimes burnt, and sometimes buried. As soon as an individual dies, the son goes three times round the corpse, carrying an iron measure (marakkal), wherein a lamp rests on unhusked rice. The corpse is washed, and the widow bathes in such a way that the water falls on it. Omission to perform this rite would entail disgrace, and there is an abusive phrase “May the water from the woman’s body not fall on that of the corpse.” The dead man and his widow exchange betel three times. The corpse is carried to the burning or burial-ground on a bamboo stretcher, and, on the way thither, is set down near a stone representing Arichandra, to whom food is offered. Arichandra was a king who became a slave of the Paraiyans, and is in charge of the burial-ground. By some Pallis a two-anna piece is placed on the forehead, and a pot of rice on the breast of the corpse. These are taken away by the officiating barber and Paraiyan respectively.[23] Men who die before they are married have to go through a post-mortem mock marriage ceremony. A garland of arka (Calotropis gigantea) flowers is placed round the neck of the corpse, and mud from a gutter is shaped into cakes, which, like the cakes at a real marriage, are placed on various parts of the body.
A curious death ceremony is said by Mr. Hemingway to be observed by the Arasu Pallis in the Trichinopoly district. On the day after the funeral, two pots of water are placed near the spot where the corpse was cremated. If a cow drinks of the water, they think it is the soul of the dead come to quench its thirst.
In some places, Palli women live in strict seclusion (Gōsha). This is particularly the case in the old Palaigar families of Ariyalūr, Udaiyarpālaiyam, Pichavaram, and Sivagiri.
The caste has a well-organised Sangham (association) called Chennai Vannikula Kshatriya Mahā Sangham, which was established in 1888 by leaders of the caste. Besides creating a strong esprit de corps among members of the caste in various parts of the Madras Presidency, it has been instrumental in the opening of seven schools, of which three are in Madras, and the others at Conjeeveram, Madhurantakam, Tirukalikundram and Kumalam. It has also established chuttrams (rest-houses) at five places of pilgrimage. Chengalvarāya Nāyakar’s Technical School, attached to Pachaiappa’s College in Madras, was founded in 1865 by a member of the Palli caste, who bequeathed a large legacy for its maintenance. There is also an orphanage named after him in Madras, for Palli boys. Gōvindappa Nāyakar’s School, which forms the lower secondary branch of Pachaiappa’s College, is another institution which owes its existence to the munificence of a member of the Palli caste. The latest venture of the Pallis is the publication of a newspaper called Agnikuladittan (the sun of the Agnikula), which was started in 1908.