One or two of them I knew. They were exquisitely done, and we all admired them.
The evening passed quickly, and I remember Plucritus gave us a sketch of a love scene he had just witnessed on the earth before leaving it. It was very amusing, or he had a way of making it appear so—I cannot quite tell which.
Vestasian stayed late, and he and Plucritus walked back through the grounds together. I went to bed, and as I looked through the open window I saw them standing on the bridge by the little gate deep in conversation.
It seemed now and again as if a laugh travelled thence to the palace; but, tired and, I may confess it, ill, I soon retired to rest.
The experiences of the day had not been happy. However they might have amused my companion, I had not shared his feeling. It had made me think with unavailing sorrow on the littleness of life, and I longed, even as a prisoner cooped in some foul dungeon longs for light and air, for some ennobling aspect from which humanity might at least be treated as a subject somewhat higher than a jest. For myself, I had begun to think and feel less. The sense of unreality and insecurity which had, up till now, enveloped me was passing. I saw the shadow of Death creeping ever nearer, and tried to fathom what my sin had been that I should thus die in hell.
Then I smiled. I was no more a judge of my own actions than anyone else can be, and I recognised simply that my duty was to bear without complaint until the end.
Any form of prayer was quite beyond me. Only those who have been in this iron kingdom have any conception how prayer is crushed in the head of him who prays. No form of comfort could approach me, nor now did I feel that I needed any; for life—what one terms life—had been slowly sapped from me as the long unheeded days had passed.
Thus, half sleeping, half waking, the night went by me, and in the morning I learnt Plucritus had returned to earth. I was not sorry. Vestné of late had taken to leaving me alone, and I was grateful for it. I remember in the days that followed her friend often played and sang to me. It was the one thing I enjoyed; for the rest, time hung heavily on my hands.
Vestasian came across every day and spent much time with us.
I can remember his kindness to me now, though I am afraid he could not think me very thankful at the time. Then for two or three days he did not come, and when he did I was sitting alone, the others being away.