In sending flowers to a funeral, one's card is enclosed. There should be no slightest sense of obligation in the sending of flowers, and each piece should represent only real sympathy or respect.
The putting on of black garments as a sign that one has lost a near relative has been much modified by the good sense of the people, and the period of mourning shortened, especially in England. In stating the accepted mourning custom, the moderate observance of it has been given, both extremes being ignored.
Crape is the quality of goods most closely allied with mourning. Black dresses trimmed with black crape are usually worn for the first few months by women who have lost a near relative. The black veil worn by widows is now of moderate length, and usually not of the very thick material which was once in vogue. A ruche of white is now placed just inside the bonnet, which relieves the black effect somewhat. Black furs and sealskins are worn with mourning.
The English fashion of six months of the deepest mourning and six months of secondary is meeting with more and more approval in this country, although for a close relative a year is the first period and six months the second.
One who is in mourning does not appear in society for the first six months; after that it is permissible to attend a concert or musical, but not the theater or a reception while severe mourning is worn.
During the mourning period, black-bordered stationery is used. The border on paper and envelopes is usually three-eighths of an inch for a close relative and half that for a more distant one, or during the secondary period of mourning, if one cares to make the change. The personal visiting card has a black border during this time.
The handkerchief is bordered with narrow black, or is of narrow-bordered, plain, sheer linen.
For relatives-in-law it is not customary to put on black, although for a father- or mother-in-law it is customary, in the best society, to dress nearly as for an own father or mother.
A widower wears a complete suit of black, white linen, dull-black silk neckties, dull-black leather shoes, black gloves, and a black ribbon of broader width upon his hat.
The mourning band sewed upon the coat sleeve is a discredited form of mourning. It does not denote the nearness of the loss, and has only the virtue of cheapness for those who cannot afford to show marked respect to the dead.
