The Giving of Presents
The members of a family who have each other's welfare at heart, often have the impulse to give each other something which they may know is needed or wanted. While this impulse should be cultivated even with the most limited means, and the sense of generosity preserved even among the poorest,—where, to be frank, it is more apt to be found than among the rich,—there should be no counting upon such presents, nor obligation to make them imposed. This destroys their value as expressions of affection, and makes the custom harmful. For that reason it is not well to adhere to times and seasons, but at any time when the right opportunity offers and the impulse moves, give the gift that one desires to give.
Where such an impulse is characteristic of a family, the members will naturally take pride in expressing in that way their appreciation of individual achievement, as when a member graduates from a high school or college, or attains his majority, or makes some special advance in any way. The spirit which welcomes achievement and recognizes it, becomes an incentive, perhaps the strongest there is, and surely the most noble, that of satisfying and pleasing a loved one. Life holds too much of defeat for the average person, for its minor victories to be passed over in silence and indifference.
Intimate Friends
One's attitude toward intimate friends is either a pleasant memory or a sad revelation. If one holds them a little lower than one's family, and expends upon them effort to charm second only to the effort habitually given to those whom one loves, then intimacy becomes a privilege, no matter what the circumstances, and a lifelong gratification and pleasure. If, however, one considers that intimate friends are entitled to less courtesy than the public, and are to be made to serve one's purpose more effectually than mere acquaintances do, then the burden of friendship is great, and soon dropped. Affection is not mercenary.
One word in regard to the single monopolizing friendship. Many a marriage has been wrecked, and many a mother's friendship turned away, because some one friend, of about one's own age and tastes, of pronounced influence and exorbitant demands, has usurped, at first perhaps unconsciously but ever surely, the place in one's life, and at last in one's heart, that some member of the family should have taken.
Some people seem naturally predisposed to this sort of friendship, and as soon as the intellectual zest is gone from absorbing companionship with one person, they turn to another. One such instance showed through twenty years a series of such friendships on the part of a well-meaning but foolish woman, in which her husband figured briefly, passing on and off the stage as violently as, and even more speedily than, the other "friends."
Too great familiarity with new acquaintances is impolite as well as unwise. It cannot fail of seeming forced, and even if the friendship is to be close and permanent, a hastily-laid foundation is never the most secure.
One should never call a friend by his Christian name until he requests one to do so.
Illness in the Home