The Etiquette of To-day

by Edith B. Ordway

To converse in loud tones or talk of personal matters anywhere in public shows great lack of fine feeling and good breeding.

Never show hostility, nor permit people to quarrel with you. The irritability which crowded conditions aggravate makes it necessary to adhere, from principle, to the rule of strict good-will toward all.

If you are escorting a woman, do not permit her to suffer any discomfort; but if, by chance, she does, do not pick a quarrel with the person who caused it. Firmly but quietly afford her protection, but do not demand satisfaction for discomforts or insults for which there is no satisfaction and whose discussion only increases the offense.

A lady need feel no embarrassment if she is obliged to spend a few days in a hotel alone. Upon entering she would go to the desk and make arrangements for a room. When the choice is made she surrenders her hand bag to the bell-boy, who conducts her to her room. She should, for her own convenience and protection, deposit valuables or large sums of money with the hotel proprietor in the office safe. Then the responsibility becomes his, but he does not assume it if they are left in the room. Upon leaving her room, she should lock her trunks and door, and leave the key with the clerk at the desk.

A lady's deportment in a hotel is that of quiet reserve, but not of haughty distance. She should dress simply and plainly, so as not to attract attention, as she is in a public place. The only time when elegant dress is permissible at a hotel is when one is with an escort, or is one of a group of people so dressed in order to attend some function.

A lady will not stand or linger in the halls of a hotel, will not loiter about the hotel office, or walk out alone upon the piazza or any conspicuous place, or stand at the windows of the parlor. She will remember that she is in a public place, where she may encounter all classes of people, so she will not permit herself any of the liberties of a home. She will not go through the halls humming or singing, or take a book or newspaper from the public parlor and carry it off to her room, even if she does shortly return it. She will not, even in her own room, make such noise as will attract attention or disturb other guests.

She will not call a cab herself, but will summon a bell-boy and have him attend to it. After her baggage is packed she will let the servants attend to it, even to the handing her of her umbrella and hand bag after she is in the carriage. She will never take the liberty of chiding a servant, but will make a necessary complaint to the clerk at the desk.

To open a window in the parlor of a hotel, when others are by and may be discomforted, is a breach of politeness. Also it is not right that even an accomplished musician or singer should use the piano of the hotel parlor, if others are in the room, unless he has received a unanimous invitation to do so.

One may greet fellow guests in the parlor or the dining-room without being thought forward or intrusive, and also may respond to such greetings without compromise, as such acquaintance does not imply or demand recognition elsewhere.

A lady, when alone at a hotel dining table, will decide quickly what dishes she wishes, and order them distinctly but quietly. She will wait patiently to be served, without any display of embarrassment. It is allowable to read a newspaper while waiting for breakfast, but not good taste to bring books to the table at any time. If she desires a dish which she sees, but the name of which she does not know, she will not point to it, but will indicate it to the waiter by her glance and her description.