Self-consciousness, for any reason and to even the slightest degree, is a great barrier to social intercourse and to mental freedom. It shows as often in a person's carriage as in his words or features. It should be broken down at all costs, and this can be done only by the person himself. It may be done, usually with comparative ease, by becoming and staying interested in something. Then awkwardness, and a defiant attitude of spirit and body, will vanish. Haughtiness is usually the outward sign of a great inner self-consciousness. All of these traits, as well as their opposites, stamp themselves upon the bearing of the body, and reveal there the clearest manifestations of character.
Dress is almost as essential. By this is not meant a rigid adherence to fashion,—the stamp of a weak mind,—or even good taste, but an eye to the appropriate and fitting. First of all, dress should be subordinated to character, that is, it should be no more costly than the wearer can afford, and no more striking than modesty and good taste allow.
Good taste in dress means plain and simple styles, but material as elegant, serviceable, and pleasing as one's purse permits. It means also a few things well chosen and kept in good order, rather than many things more or less untidy; that one's wardrobe will be harmonious,—not a cheap, shabby garment to-day, and an expensive, showy one to-morrow. It means also that the wardrobe throughout, not only the external garments, is equally well chosen and well cared for.
One should not mix one's wardrobe. A coat of one suit and the skirt of another should not be worn together. A carriage parasol should not be used on a sunny promenade, nor an umbrella in a carriage, or open automobile.
It is necessary to wear a dress appropriate to the occasion in order to be well dressed. No matter how excellent one's costume may be, if it does not suit the time and place it is absurd and incongruous. Some of the major rules for appropriate dress are as follows:
Full evening dress demands one's most elaborate gown, made of silk, satin, velvet, lace, or crêpe-de-chine, as costly as one's purse permits, with décolleté effects, gained by either actual cut or the use of lace and chiffon. One should wear delicate shoes, white or light-colored gloves, and appropriate jewels, of which it is not good taste to have too lavish a display.
As hostess at an afternoon reception or luncheon one may wear an elaborate gown of the richest materials, with either long sleeves and high neck, or elbow sleeves and slightly low neck. As guest one may wear a walking suit, with pretty blouse, white gloves, and decorative hat.
The usual dress for a formal breakfast is much the same as for a luncheon,—a pretty afternoon street costume, with a dainty blouse, gloves, and "picture" hat, which is not removed. In summer, a gown of light material, such as organdie, muslin, or other soft goods, dainty and somewhat elaborate, is in good taste. Hat and gloves are invariably worn with this gown if the affair is ceremonious.
For church wear, a quiet, rather simple street dress, which does not proclaim that either money or time has been spent upon it to any notable extent, is by far the most appropriate. The suit should be becoming but inconspicuous.
Ball costume is conventionally gay and elaborate, the lightest of materials being used, especially by those who intend to take part in the dancing, and a dainty effect being sought. Any costly, rich-looking materials are used, and a wide range of fashion is permitted. The gown is cut short-sleeved and décolleté, and the dancing shoes are of satin or very fine kid. Jewels are worn but sparingly by young women in their first season in society. The costume of a débutante at her first ball is usually white.