Why are some ministers worse than Brigham Young? Because they have married more women than they can support, and would like to marry more.
In what respect does an attorney resemble a clergyman? He studies the law and profits (prophets).
What is the best way to raise strawberries? With a spoon.
Why is a man upstairs beating his wife an honorable man? Because he is above doing a mean action.
"Why," asks a disconsolate widow, "is venison like my late and never-sufficiently-to-be-lamented husband?" Because it is the dear (deer) departed.
What consolation has the homely girl? She will be a pretty old one if she lives long enough.
What moral sentence does a weathercock suggest? "It is a vain (vane) thing to a-spire."
What is that which if you take away all the letters remains the same? The postman.
Why is a correct knowledge of grammar indispensable to young clergymen? Because it leads to a(c)curacy.
Why is an extremely religious Roman Catholic lady only a very virtuous goose? Because she is so faithful to her proper gander (propaganda).