A man by the name of Stone fell off his horse into deep water, from which he struggled, but not without some danger. His companion laughed, and when rebuked, replied that any man would laugh to see a stone swim.
One who had received a threat that another would break his head with a stone, replied, "It is a hard matter to break my head with a stone."
A physician sought to collect a bill due for service to a patient who had died. He was told that it was a work of charity to visit the sick, but if he wanted money so badly the only way was for him to visit the dead, and then he would not want money any more.
The following dialogue took place between two friends: "I love to hear a man talk nonsense." "I know you love to hear yourself talk as well as any man."
A gentleman made some purchases upon trust in a shop, promising the proprietor that he would owe him so much money. The proprietor was for a time content, but when he sought to collect the payment, the gentleman told him that he had not promised to pay him, but had promised to owe him so much money, and that he would not break his promise, as he would have to if he paid the debt.
"What are Shakespeare's works worth, all bound together?" "Not a farthing." "Not worth a farthing? How so?" "His plays are worth a great deal of money, but I never heard that his works are worth anything at all."
A man met his friend riding without boots, and asked him about what business he went. The friend replied that it was a matter of great importance, and that he was in great haste. The man said, "I am afraid that your labor is lost." "Why?" inquired the rider. "Because," was the reply, "you ride of a bootless errand."
Which of the letters of the alphabet are the most authentic on a bill or bond? I O U.
Why do not men and their wives agree better nowadays? Because men are now more learned, and know that "it is false concord that the masculine and feminine gender should agree at all."
A man had the pictures of the five senses stolen from his house, and came to a justice, desiring that the thieves might be bound to the peace. "For what?" asked the justice. "For stealing your pictures?" "Yes," replied the man. "I thought," said the justice, "that you had lost your senses, that you talk so idly."