When are handcuffs like knapsacks? When made for two-wrists (tourists).
What is the difference between a butterfly and a volcano? In one the lava comes out of the crater, in the other the "crater" comes out of the larva.
Why is a man riding swiftly up hill like one who presents a young lady with a young dog? He gives a gallop up (gal a pup).
Why is a love of the ocean like curiosity? It has sent many a boy to sea (see).
What is the best way to double a flock of sheep? Fold them.
Why are mortgages like burglars? They secure (seek your) money.
Why is a woman's thought like the telegraph? It is so much quicker than the mail (male) intelligence.
If you lose a dollar to-day, why would it be a good plan to lose another to-morrow? So as to make your loss a-gain.
What constitutes a weighty discourse? First to ann-ounce a text, then to ex-pound it.
What is disgusting to all but those who swallow it? Flattery.