Why is a kiss like a rumor? Because it goes from mouth to mouth.
What shape is a kiss? A-lip-tickle (elliptical).
What becomes every woman? A blush.
Why are three couples going to be married like penny trumpets? Because they go two-two-two.
What is that which fastens two people together, yet touches only one? The wedding-ring.
What is a ring? A hole with a rim around it.
What grows bigger the more you contract it? Debt.
Why is a spendthrift, with regard to his fortune, like the water in a filter? Because he soon runs through it, and leaves many matters behind to settle.
Why are birds melancholy in the morning? Because their little bills are all over dew (overdue).
What is the difference between a last will and testament and a man who has eaten as much as he can? One is signed and dated, and the other is dined and sated.