Why are volunteers like Lord Nelson? Because the last thing he did was to die for his country, and that is about the last thing the volunteers intend doing.
Why did the population of Rome decrease just before the fall of the empire? Because the Romans had ceased to practice husbandry.
When Charles I was beheaded, of what dish did the executioner dine, and where? He took a chop at the King's Head.
Why ought Charles I to have preferred burning to decapitation? Because a hot steak (stake) is always preferable to a cold chop.
Why did the Highlanders do most execution at Waterloo? Because every man had one kilt before the battle began.
Why are the Royal Academicians the greatest swells ever known? Because Solomon, even in all his glory, was not R. A.'d (arrayed) like one of these.
What piece of music did the Romans, at the time of the early Christians, most enjoy? A stab at martyr (A Stabat Mater).
If a nice plump Member of Parliament were eaten uncooked by savages, why would he be like Louis Napoleon? Because he would be served as an M. P. raw (emperor).
Why is the list of celebrated musical composers like a saucepan? Because it is incomplete without a Handel.
When was Napoleon I most shabbily dressed? When out at Elba (elbow).