How is it England and Russia conjointly govern the ocean? Because England rules the waves, and Russia the serfs.
What was the difference between Shakespeare and Queen Elizabeth? One was a wonder, the other a Tudor.
What Tory do the Whigs want on their side? Vic-tory.
It went before Queen Mary, it followed King William to the end? The letter "m."
Who caught the fossil fishes? The geological fissures (fishers).
Why was the Shah of Persia, during his visit to England, the best card-player in the world? Because the swells gave up their clubs; workmen threw up their spades, and the ladies were within an ace of losing their hearts, when he came to show his diamonds.
Why was Martin Luther like a dyspeptic robin? The Diet of Wurms did not agree with him.
When was beef-tea introduced into England? When Henry VIII dissolved the Pope's bull.
Why could not Napoleon III insure his life? Because no man living was able to make out his policy.
What is the difference between two celebrated Saxon leaders of the fifth century and two others famous in these days? The former were Engist and Horsa, the latter are engines and horses.