Why is a statistician like a writer of one of the Six Best Sellers? Because he is the author of well-figured fiction.
Why are Parliamentary reports called "Blue Books?" Because they are never re(a)d.
Why is an architect like a newspaper writer? Because he gets so much "per column" for his work.
Why was Blackstone like an Irish vegetable? Because he was a common tatur (commentator).
Is there any bird which can recite the "Lays of Ancient Rome?" Yes, certainly, Macaw-lays.
Why cannot the Irish perform the play of "Hamlet?" Because they cannot help making "Aphalia" (a failure) of the heroine.
What was Othello's occupation in Venice? That of a lawyer, because he was attorney-general (a tawny general).
If you took off your boot and put your foot in the fire, what opera of Verdi's would it instantly make you? Rigoletto (wriggle-a-toe).
Why are unsuccessful contestants for a prize like Shakespeare? Because they have made "Much Ado About Nothing."
What is the difference between living "in marble halls" and aboard ship? In the former you have "vassals and serfs at your side," and in the latter you have vessels and surfs at your side.