Lessons on Manners for School and Home Use

by Edith E. Wiggin

To amuse a fretful child for a few moments, or bring it a glass of water when the mother cannot leave other children to do it, or to find the baggage-master and get a trunk checked for a nervous old lady, is a small thing in itself, but it may be more welcome to the receiver under the circumstances than a far greater favor at another time. The comfort or discomfort of a journey is made up of just such small things.

When the ticket window is opened there is no need for us to rush to it or to push aside any one else. Time is given for all to buy their tickets comfortably. We ought, if possible, to hand the exact price of the ticket, and not take the ticket-seller's time to change large bills. For the same reason we should ask for the ticket in the briefest sentence we can frame, and if a question is necessary, put it in the most business-like manner, and thank him for the information given.

We should not attempt to get on the cars while others are getting off: it hinders them and ourselves, and nothing is gained by such unbecoming haste. The much-ridiculed American hurry is well illustrated by a company of people crowding up the steps while another company is crowding down. When we leave the cars it is better to wait until they come to a full stop before rising from our seats. We shall be likely to get out as soon as if we went swaying down the aisle, crowding other people, and in danger of falling headlong when the train finally stops.

What has been said about obtaining seats at places of amusement applies to seats in cars as well. Those who come first have the first choice; but we should not forget good manners in the choosing. We have no right to more room than we pay for, and, unless there are plenty of unoccupied seats, it is rude and selfish to spread out our parcels and wraps so as to discourage any one from asking to sit beside us; yet a well-dressed woman, with her possessions unconcernedly arranged on a seat facing her, ignoring the fact that others are standing in the aisle, is not an uncommon spectacle.

Courtesy in the cars or in a coach is as binding on us as courtesy in the parlor, and never, perhaps, is it better appreciated than by tired travellers.

Good-breeding does not require a gentleman or a boy to offer his seat to any lady who is standing, but he should never fail to do it to an old lady or one with a child in her arms, or one with an inconvenient package; and it is pleasant to see that fine politeness which prompts its possessor to treat every lady as he would wish his mother or sister treated. A lady should not accept such a civility in silence. We too often see her drop into a seat which a gentleman rises to offer as if it were her right, without a word or even a bow of acknowledgment. Such a person has no right to expect a similar courtesy the second time.

If any one leaves his seat for a time without leaving any piece of property in it to show that it belongs to him, he cannot lawfully claim it on returning; but civility should prevent any one from taking it, if he knows it belongs to another.

In travelling, as everywhere in public, noisy conversation and the "loud laugh that speaks the vacant mind" are offensive to good taste. Constant eating of fruit and peanuts is bad manners, and, as has been said before, it is generally associated with loud talking and laughing and other rude behavior.

On long journeys it is necessary to eat luncheons or even regular meals, but this, done in a well-bred way, is a very different thing from the continual eating indulged in by a certain class of travellers.

We should not sit down beside another without asking if the seat is engaged. If a person asks to sit beside us, we should assent with cordiality, not sullenly gather up our bundles, as we often see people do, impatient at having their selfish ease disturbed. It is polite for a gentleman to offer a lady the seat next the window.