Ellen retired immediately after Hester's departure, and was soon fast asleep, with a neat packet of the missionary's love-letters under her pillow, and a locket containing a photographic likeness of that apostle, which might have taken a prize for feebleness, resting upon her innocent breast.
Robert Streightley sat up late with his mother, and told her of his visit to Middlemeads, his purposes respecting the estate, and the hopes which had led to their formation.
[CHAPTER X.]
STRUGGLE.
Robert Streightley slept but little on the night after his visit to Middlemeads; for that note which he had found awaiting him from Mr. Guyon sat heavy on his soul. Wanted to see him on particular business, eh? What did that particular business mean? Not more money advances, surely? Such transactions as he had had with Mr. Guyon were small enough to a man accustomed to the particular kind of business, the loans and contracts and subsidies, with which the firm of Streightley and Son were in the habit of dealing; but yet Robert, however wilfully blind, could not shut his eyes to the fact that he had already supplied Mr. Guyon with loans for which he had nothing like adequate security. Could Mr. Guyon possibly mean to touch upon that other subject, which, as a man of the world, he must have already divined lay very close at Robert Streightley's heart? Could he intend to broach the question of his daughter----? As the idea crossed Streightley's mind he felt his cheek flush, and the cold beads of perspiration start out upon his forehead.
For he was an honourable man, brought up in an honourable school, where "a fair fight and no favour" had been the motto from time immemorial, and where any one taking undue advantage or seeking to compass his ends by unfair means toward his rival would have been scouted with ignominy. And he felt--how could he but feel?--that the struggle in which he was at that moment engaged was scarcely being conducted in the same open manner. He felt that he was creeping up towards the assault under the protection of a hireling guerilla force, which, with all the advantage of the knowledge of the ground, was pushing its renegade advantage, furthering his advance here, throwing out earthworks for the hindrance of the enemy there, and all from the mere sordid love of gain and chances of plunder, but without the smallest heartiness of feeling in the matter. Not a nice feeling for a man of Robert Streightley's sense of punctilio. It galled him, and he chafed against it sadly during the long watches of that night. What was it? a caprice, a sudden fancy, a madness which had stung him,--that he, a mature man of confirmed bachelor habits, with his own household gods around him, and his own life completely settled and hitherto sufficient, should suddenly break through all his customs--yes, that would be nothing, but break through them in a weak and feeble manner--break through them in a way in which he, so far as he read it to himself, took no active part, but suffered himself to be the mere tool and instrument--for his own purposes indeed--in hands which were certainly not exempt from suspicion of being soiled. This was bad, very bad indeed. What should he say to himself suppose a parallel case in the business world--that world which he understood, which had hitherto been his sole life, and out of which he felt he could not with safety emerge--had been submitted to him? Why, he would have declared that, as a point of honour, a man in that position ought at once to set himself free from such trammels. And if in business, surely in love there was all the more reason for his doing so. For his part he would hesitate no longer; he would at once drop the Guyon acquaintance, sinking the advances which he had up to that point made to Mr. Guyon, and writing them off as salutary experience lightly paid for, and---- And then, as he lay tossing on his fevered pillow, rose before him a vision of Katharine in all her grace and beauty--Katharine saucily laughing at Mr. Mostyn's solemn vanity; Katharine the cynosure of all at the Botanical promenade, queening it amongst the loveliest and the best-bred, evoking admiration from all; Katharine with earnest face and downcast eyes, then with flushed cheek and sparkling glance, in conversation with Gordon Frere--No! that last thought was too much. In Robert Streightley's nature there lay hitherto latent an amount of mad, blinding, unreasoning jealousy, whose existence was suspected by none of his friends, by him least of all; but it leapt into flame as this last picture crossed his mind, and all thoughts of withdrawal from the career in which he had suffered himself to be embarked shrivelled up before its scorching heat. It should not be from want of perseverance on his part, nor from want of employment of all the resources at his command, that he would fail in this the--yes, the really first scheme in his life in which he had taken hearty interest. He would need all his skill, and tact, and patience to carry it through--ah if he could only sleep now--if he could only forget for an instant those haunting eyes, that queenly form, that sweet winning smile!
He lay awake during all the early hours of that morning; and it was nearly five o'clock before he sunk into a heavy, unrefreshing slumber, from which, despite old Alice's repeated warnings, he did not wake until long past nine. Then he had his bath and dressed himself, and went slouching down to breakfast with pale face and red eyelids, and a wearied anxious look. Mrs. Streightley had ere this sallied forth armed with a complete library of little red books, over which she waged weekly warfare with the neighbouring tradespeople; and Ellen had an "early service" on, followed by a little light recreation of district-visiting and a small interlude of first meeting Of coal and flannel fund; so that Robert had only his old nurse to watch over him at breakfast, and render every mouthful additionally distasteful by her comments.
"Well, Lord knows I never thought to have lived to have seen this day," said the old woman, when Robert, after a vain attempt at eating, pushed his plate away from before him--"that any child of your father's, let alone you, for whom he thought, and cared, and slaved most, should have quarrelled with the victuals provided for him in this house, I didn't expect."
"Ah, nurse!" said Robert, trying to smile, "it's not what's provided--I'm not well just now, somehow--I----"
"Not well, indeed! I know what's the matter with you. You're in love, and pleased with ruin as the saying is,--that's what ails you. O, don't frown and look so; do you think the old woman don't know those signs, Robert, my boy? No appetite, and looking a long way off, and never speaking when spoke to? Lor' bless yer. And do you think old Alice don't know what that means? Come, they're all out, Robert! tell me who it is. Tell the old woman who nursed you when you couldn't speak, or scarce cry, for the matter of that, you was that weak; and the doctor never thought to have brought you through it, and wouldn't if it hadn't been for me, though I say it as shouldn't; tell old Alice all about it, deary; tell her and trust her, as you used to--O, so long ago."