A messenger who was exceedingly troublesome, and who had already received several cautions for his conduct, gave in this touching explanation: “After being cautioned several times about misconducting myself, I tried to turn over a new leaf, but whatever I do it seems that every one is down on me. I try very hard to behave myself but I find that I cannot do so.” The truth must be told: his papers gave no indication of any new leaves.
A struggle between two boys in the sorting-room was explained in this way:—
“To the Postmaster: Messenger Smith called me a wooden head, so I poured hot tar over his dinner and punched him on the nose: hopeing this will meet with your approval.”
It is to children unused to the arts of diplomacy that we have to look for plain statements of facts as they are: we elders grow astute by experience, and we hedge and prevaricate. The following bears all the evidence of a real happening:—
“Messenger Halter: You are requested to furnish at once your explanation as to the delay in the delivery of message No. 30. You were turned out at 11.20 and did not return until 11.37. Please state whether you stopped on the road before delivering the message.”
“The Postmaster: I stopped and asked a boy if he had not only one handle on his barrow and he said no and I walked on again but the Gentleman saw me and asked me if I had a telegram for boston view and I said Yes and he said you silly fool Why did you Dam-weell stop and I said I was sorry and he said sorry by Dammed why did you stop with that boy you Dame fool I shall report you. You have made me lose the train.”
The following is also no doubt a true picture:—
“Robert Brown, No. 28: You are requested at once to furnish your explanation as to excessive time taken to go to ——”
“The Postmaster: When I got my message I went up High Street and through the market and delivered the message. When I was coming back, a horse which was in the park that I was walking along side of came over to me, so I stopped and patted it on the neck hoping it will never happen again.”
We are all interested in the story of a fight, especially under unequal conditions, and here is a thrilling account of an encounter between two boys, written by themselves. We shall not fail to admire the splendid calm of the boy clerk who, though struck in the pit of the stomach, with the addition of several kicks on the shins, still remembered he was the superior officer, with the right to caution a subordinate.