“Sir, I am expert in many things, and desire only to be tried to show my agility in mathematics and other languages, being hopeful to stand on my own bottom without help for any if I once am made glad with the object of my desire.
“In the Bible of your honour it is said that man's life is but a span, which is equal to five inches, also it is stated few men live at so great an age as four scores, and as my talents are now in their blooming prime they may not be rusted in obscurity by delay on the matter.
“Your honour will therefore kindly appoint me without further notice. As to the post which I am to occupy, that is left to your honour's discretion, who being an allwise man will no doubt judge it properly.”
A Superintendent once received a petition for leave. It started with “Sir,” the second paragraph with “Honoured Sir,” the third with “Your Honour,” the fourth with “My Lord,” and it wound up with the statement that he knew the Superintendent was of very good family, and therefore could not do any injustice. The writer concluded, “I am, your Royal Highness.”
A district traffic superintendent received this telegram:
“Sir,—Here is every one dying on account of cholera. Kindly grant us leave. Ve go by first train, in anticipation of sanction. What can poor baboos give in exchange of his soul?”
The following are literal translations of addresses of native letters, taken indiscriminately from unclaimed letters in the General Post Office, Calcutta:—
“Through the favour of God—May this cover, having arrived at Burdwan, close to Khanpookhureen, and reached Chhukka Moollah, be presented to and read by the blessed light of my eye, Meean Booddhoo—may the Almighty protect him.”
“To the sacred feet of the chief worshipful, the respected brother Goozoopershad Singh. The Letter to be given at Calcutta in the direction of Jorasanku at the house of Tarinee Sen—on arrival at which the said Singh will receive it. The Letter is an urgent one, so let it reach quickly.”
It will be recognised that the Returned Letter Offices of India have their own special problems.