Never suffer yourself to be led into needless expense by the example of your companions, and never be ashamed of saying that you cannot afford it.
We sometimes see weak young men vying with each other in the expensive elegance of their furniture and dress, or in the luxury of their entertainments. A man of large fortune produces at his table a variety of costly wines, abundance of ice, and a splendid dessert. Others, from a silly vanity, affect to do the same, although such expensive luxuries are altogether inconsistent with their finances, and with the general habits of men in their rank of life. The more such expenses and foolish ostentation can be checked by the college authorities the better. At all events, do not you be so weak as to fall into them. There is no disgrace in being poor, but there is disgrace and dishonesty too, in contracting debts which you are unable to discharge.
Some young Oxonians, I am afraid, after spending the larger portion of their allowance upon amusements and self-indulgence, drive off the payment of what they regard as their more creditable debts till they take their degree, under the idea that they will then be paid by their fathers. This is a most unwarrantable,—sometimes a cruel,—drain upon parental kindness. Poets may well speak of university expenses “pinching parents black and blue[112:1],” when this is the case.
The majority of parents, as I have already said, do not send their sons to the University without some degree of pecuniary inconvenience to themselves. It is, indeed, hard upon them, when, in addition to an annual allowance, which, probably, they have furnished not without difficulty, they are called upon for a considerable sum, in order to save their sons’ credit—perhaps in order to enable him to take his degree. For you are aware that an unpaid tradesman has the power, if he thinks fit to exert it, of stopping the degree of a spendthrift under-graduate. This power, I believe, is seldom, if ever, exercised. But surely the being liable to it, through your own misconduct and extravagance, would be attended with a feeling of painful humiliation.
I remain,
My dear Nephew,
Your affectionate Uncle.
[101:1] June, 1832.
[112:1] Cowper.
LETTER IX.
TEMPERANCE.
My dear Nephew,