"One night when I was taking the harness off him, the near leader kicked me on the leg. The pain was so severe that I scarcely slept any that night. They say a mule will be good and gentle in the barn three hundred and sixty-four days in the year, for the sake of getting a chance to kick a man on the three hundred and sixty-fifth day, and I believe it is so.
"After dinner one day, we had just left the house when one of the men said, 'Didn't the old woman give the boss hell, this noon? I tell you she's got a temper.' 'Yes,' said Pete, 'but she's not very old, not forty yet. She's always firing up about something; she keeps him in hell most of the time. The trouble is,' continued he, 'he's got nothing broke on his ranch; his mules are not broke, his broncho cows are not broke, his wife is not broke, and the old cuss himself is not broke.'
"After enduring all the torment and petty aggravation that a man could stand for three months, I left and went to work at the White Oak Ranch. The boss there set me to grubbing out oaks, and I can assure you it was a relief after driving those mules.
"The third night I was at this place, I was the last to join the men at the barn, and when I got there I found the teamsters, George and Harry, making the air blue with oaths. They were giving it to the boss because he would not get new harnesses, the old ones being mended all over with wire and baling rope and the lines rotten. Harry's leaders had broken their lines twice that day, it seemed, and he had nearly lost control of them in consequence. 'The old fool keeps a-promising and a-promising to get new harness,' said George, 'but he never gets it; and he hasn't got a harness on his whole darn ranch that's worth a whoop in hell.' 'My old plugs broke their harness five times to-day,' said Harry. 'Since I've been here, the teams have done more damage and lost more than would pay for a new harness ten times over.'
"When I had been there about a month, the hot weather began to come on, and the feed to dry up, and I had to help clean the ditches out, ready for irrigating. It was a big job, so many willows to grub out, and it took much longer to finish it because we were so constantly called away to drive out cattle and hogs that had broken into the orchard and grain fields. You see, the feed was getting scarce, there was more stock than there was feed for, and the fences were very shaky. The boss kept talking about new fences, but he never had them built, he was satisfied with patching the old ones.
"Well, we got the ditches cleaned out and commenced to irrigate, using all the water we could get. I was one to help irrigate and look after the ditches. The work would have been really pleasant if we could only have kept the band of hogs out. They would get in after the green feed and break the ditches, causing the water to wash the soil away. That band of hogs began to torment me as much as the mules had done. They were so hungry you could not keep them out. I didn't blame them, poor, lank, starved creatures, for getting in and getting something to eat. I would have done the same in their case.
"At last the boss thought he would shut them up in the barnyard and feed them. Well, he had forty starved hogs shut up, and he gave them about as much food each day as ten hogs could eat. Of course, they became like a pack of wolves, and it was all a man could do to get through the yard. Forty hogs would come all around him, squealing and yelling as though they were being butchered, and you had to keep moving lively or they would bite your legs. Henderson, one of the men, told me they ate up four cats and three kittens and more chickens than had been on the table for a year.
"One Sunday morning, after breakfast, I commenced to wash my shirt and overalls, when Henderson called to me, 'Cattle in the peach orchard!' Now, at the further end of the peach orchard there were a hundred nice young trees, covered with tender foliage, looking fine. It seems the cattle got into the orchard in the night and ate all the growth off them, so they looked just like sticks. It really was a shame to see such fine trees damaged in that way, but the boss would not take time to build a good fence around them. That afternoon I went to lie down in the barn; it was hot, the mosquitoes and flies were getting in their best licks at me. I was trying to sleep, and just as I was about succeeding Henderson called out: 'Charles, get your shovel and come quick.' 'What's the matter?' I asked. 'Why, the hogs have played the devil and broke the ditches and the water is running all over Hell.' Mad as I felt about being disturbed, I could not help smiling within at the thought of water running all over hell, and I said to him: 'If those hogs can flood hell with water they ought to be sent to a dime museum.' We went on in silence till we reached the orchard gate, when Henderson said: 'Do you know, I would rather take a licking than open that gate, for it's a back-breaker. It hasn't got a hinge, and is as heavy as an elephant; you have to lift it up and drag it along the ground. It takes more time to hang a gate that way with a band of iron to a post or a bent stick in the place of the iron, than it would to buy two pairs of hinges; and yet that is the only kind he has on the place. It seems as if everything on the place was devised to make work as hard, unhandy, and wrong-end-to as possible.'
"That evening when we had gathered together as usual, Harry opened the conversation by saying: 'What a racket there was to-night at supper! It seems to me the whole family is raising hell all the time, but I don't blame the old woman much for giving the boss a jawing about throwing his old broken harness on her bedroom floor, when he came home in the light rig this afternoon.' 'He is always doing such things,' said George. 'The front room is more like an old store-room than anything else. He don't deserve a house; that man ought to live in a barn.'
"Another of the men said: 'If ever there was any attraction between the boss and his wife, it has long ago disappeared; and the children! What a quarreling gang they are.' Then they proceeded to discuss at length each member of the family, and I must say, father, that although I had become accustomed to much of the roughness of the life of these ranches, I was so shocked over some of the things they said that it took me a long time to get over it. I was not surprised that the boys should be little reprobates, because I didn't see how they could be otherwise, living with such a crew of men around them all the time, but was shocked to hear what they said about the girls. There were two of them: one fifteen years old, the other eighteen. Rather pretty girls they were, too. I had talked with them several times and they seemed modest and quite shy with me. I hadn't seen them much with the other fellows. Well, father, when those men had finished talking, they hadn't left those girls a shred of what the world calls a reputation, and the worst of it was that their stories were for the most part true, as I afterward ascertained. I could scarcely speak to the girls for several days; for somehow one expects more of a girl than of a boy, though I don't know why one should," he added, thoughtfully. "I'm sure I'd want to be as pure as the girl I married.