"Good Heavens, sir! you don't mean to say you'd think of doing such a thing?"
"Just as soon as look at you; there, go below."
Sergeant Spine descended the ladder like one in a dream, walked to his store cupboard, took out several packages of blacking, tins of sardines, and bottles of pickles, giving himself the word of command for each action, then walking to the coaling port, which was opened to ventilate the lower deck, he cried, "one," and threw the blacking overboard; "two," sent the sardines after it; "three," and pitched the bottles of pickles clear of the side: returning to his cupboard he changed his badgeless coat for an old one upon which the beloved stripes still remained, doing this in five motions; then pulling forth an old silk handkerchief, spread it upon the floor, in two evolutions, and kneeling rigidly upon it, shut his eyes and drilled himself into prayer. After remaining a few moments in an attitude of devotion he rose, grasped his rifle, loaded it, with the usual number of motions, directing his own actions, which attracted the attention of boy Jordun, who was lounging near upon one of the officers' chests, when he espied the lad, who, eyeing him suspiciously, coolly said, "I say, Stripey, you ain't agoing to shoot yourself, are you?"
"No, my boy," replied the excited soldier, who now altered his plan of suicide.
"Then what are ye a loadin' yer musket for?"
Spine crossed over to where the boy was sitting, grasped him by the arm, and fiercely exclaimed, "Boy, bear witness that Captain Puffeigh, Royal Navy, has driven me to this!" then marched to the coaling port, and saying "one," "two," deliberately dived overboard.
William Jordun laughed, as if the soldier had done some very amusing feat, then went upon the quarter-deck and informed the captain that "the sergeant had drowned himself overboard."
"Bless me—you don't say so?"
"Yes, sir. He sed to me, 'Bill Jordun, bear witness that Captain Puffeigh told me to do this,' and then he went and posted hisself in the coal-port, like a letter in a office-box."