Before they re-mounted Choo made another speech, in which he instructed his men what to say concerning the capture of the sailor.
"My honourable friends must all speak thus, even if put to torture. We were returning from Hong-loo, when suddenly a body of at least five hundred western devils opposed us, and commenced an attack upon our party. We, with swelling breasts dilated with over-bravery, eyes flashing like the hands and feet of Luepo, with headlong prowess spurring our steeds to the death, in hopes to salute heaven in doing such bravery, we, a handful, rushed upon our foes, and killed them all but about a dozen, who fled in a small boat. Suy-peh (old Suy), whose hands have become palsied by age and breeches making, first seized the demon we have captured, but it took the whole of us to secure him. Mo-tim was killed—we left his body upon the field, after having carried it out of the reach of the retreating barbarians; and as he was killed in action, the owner of the land will be able to bury him at his own expense, without inquiry, which will be a saving, as otherwise a dead body would be a bad present for him."
"Stop!" cried Suy-peh, "your words are golden, yet vain ones. Do you think, my illustrious friends, that Chung-sung, our learned mayor, will believe such shallow lies? He will ask, 'Where is the blood upon your garments? where your wounds? where the dead bodies or even heads of those western devils you have slain?' Tell the truth, and you will gain all credit, and be considered great warriors enough, without each of us endeavouring to get by memory the bombastic speech of Choo-Too. I think he might have invented something better, and, for my part, I don't believe a word about his vision. I'm too old to be cheated in that manner."
"Suy-peh, you're a breeches-mending old fool!"
"Choo, you are well named Choo-Too. I spit at you."
Probably a fight would have ensued, but the friends of the parties separated them, and having taken Jerry up behind him, Choo scowled at Suy-peh (who made a face at him by way of retort), and then gave the order to march.
Thompson stuck to the tailor, who was not a good horseman; but the sailor hung on to the animal as well, and in this manner got along very nicely, until they arrived at the suburbs of the town, where the party dismounted and partook of hot rice spirit. This increased their valour to such a degree, that they treated their prisoner to sundry kicks and cuffs, to show their friends how they had tamed the foreign devil. Upon remounting they placed him on a miserable scarecrow of a horse, borrowed from the landlord of the inn, and proceeded towards the town gates, stopping every few yards to tell their story, and enable the women and children to pelt the prisoner with mud, filth, or stones, or spit upon him, as their playful fancy dictated.
Poor Jerry experienced some very rough treatment, but never for a moment lost his pluck. When a heavier stone than usual was thrown at him, he would turn round and cry, "Come, missis, stash it;" but otherwise he took the proceedings as part of the rites upon such occasions, and when a pretty girl abused him, would reply in a most admiring strain. As they neared the gates they fell in with a party of women headed by the wife of the bannerman who had been killed by the master. The woman was supported by her sons, who did not seem to be much concerned about their father's fate, as they laughed and chatted with the crowd; this was strange, as the Chinese always profess to venerate their parents in the highest degree.
After Choo had spoken his piece, to which the widow listened with the deepest attention, she advanced to the prisoner, and raising her voice to a shrill falsetto, thus addressed him, "Oh!!! you lwan lwan (mean-looking) fuh-hwy (reptile), wo yaou ne teih naow kae (I want your skull)." Then she proceeded with increased volubility to abuse his father, who she declared was hangman to the devil, and his mother, who she swore was anything but a lady; his sisters and all his female and male relations were likewise abused, the excited widow winding up with the following, which she poured forth in the patois of her district, without once stopping to take breath. "Ha! white-livered bear-faced red-nosed blue-lipped silk-haired bull-eyed pig-skin'd blood-drinking hairy-headed man-eating woman-featured foreign devil—Ha! Haw!! Hah!!!"
"Thankee, mum, ha! ha!—I ses too, I hopes you're well."