“We once supposed that many chemical substances found in minute amount in the ashes of plants were not of importance, but it has lately been asserted that this is not true and that manganese in particular plays an important part in plant economy, acting as a catalyst. I have verified this fact and have proceeded to examine the action of different manganese compounds in order to determine which is most active. The acetate functions well, the hydrosol better but colloidal manganese is by far the best. In any considerable amount this acts as a violent poison but in homeopathic doses it functions as a vigorous stimulant. Using this reagent as a hypodermic I have obtained astonishing results. I have one stalk of Indian corn on my farm treated in this way which measures forty feet in height and has seven ears, each over a foot long and perfectly set, with grains well on toward ripeness. Watermelons the size of hogsheads are readily produced and we have canteloupes, cucumbers and tomatoes as large as nail kegs. I have used the kohl rabi for several years as a source of winter forage for my cattle, slicing them before feeding. Treated in this way heads as large as barrels are readily grown, as much as forty tons per acre being an ordinary yield. I have in consequence been able to quadruple the size of my herd without devoting more acreage to the growing of forage. I have not entirely succeeded in increasing the oat and wheat crop because of the difficulties in the way of successful wholesale hypodermic injection. I have made a somewhat promising beginning, however, by successfully inoculating chrysanthemum with the aid of the aphis which preys on them. You know that this aphis punctures the outer cuticle with his proboscis and drinks the sap. Acting on this knowledge I have first sprayed the aphis with a dilute colloidal manganese and dried them rapidly with a current of warm air. The colloid adheres to the outside of their beaks and gently stimulates. When the beak is inserted the plant at once is inoculated. The aphis is then destroyed by the application of whale oil soap or other appropriate insecticide and the plant develops to an enormous size producing blossoms as large as a lady’s summer straw hat. They are indeed marvelous.
“I have also begun some experiments upon animals but the effect here seems to be even more poisonous. Another idea has, however, occurred to me which gives promise of a very great success. You know that caffein is a mild stimulant to the human race, and acting on this lead I have tried a number of stimulants, winding up with virulent poisons. One of these containing arsenic combined with strychnine, cocaine and selenium has been injected into calves from my herd which are now, at six weeks, as large as their mothers. Unfortunately this growth has been accompanied by the development of a disagreeable odor which makes them unpleasant neighbors. I fear I shall be forced to find a substitute for the selenium in order to avoid this but I have no doubt of final success.”
During this recital any conversation had become impossible; in fact we were reduced to a state of coma and walked from the table like well-trained somnambulists without uttering a word.
In the evening I accompanied Zahn to a lecture he was to deliver before the Society of Facultative Anaerobists. It appeared that these people had associated themselves for the purpose of further studying those organisms which develop either in an atmosphere of oxygen or of one devoid of it. In the latter case they decompose some substance contained in the solution and assimilate the oxygen it contains. The lecture was to be delivered at the society headquarters over a grocery store. The entrance was on a side street in the rear. There was a light over the entrance and the hall was gained by mounting a steep pair of stairs. We found the assembled anaerobists busily at work under the chairmanship of a lanky individual in corduroy trousers. Upon our entrance the proceedings were at once suspended to allow the lecture to proceed. Zahn was escorted to the platform with much deference and began as follows:
“Fellow Truthseekers:—It is with some hesitation that I venture to appear before you to make my small contribution to your proceedings. I am well aware of the labors of some members of this illustrious society, and feel considerable diffidence in appearing before you. I shall confine my remarks to two themes: The first will be a contribution to the technology of inoculation. I have had considerable experience of the difficulty and danger of inoculating savage animals, and the first part of my paper merely describes the technique which I have found successful in such cases. I have here an inconspicuous gun which enables us to effect inoculation at a distance and with ease and certainty. The projectile consists of a hollow needle with two sheet metal flanges surrounding it acting like a piston in the cylinder of the gun. The inoculating liquid is sucked into the needle by its capillarity. On inserting a metal sphere filled with liquefied carbon dioxid into this cylinder and pressing this trigger, a needle penetrates the capsule, liberates the carbon dioxid, which instantly is converted into gas and drives the projectile from the gun. The needle has sufficient force to penetrate the skin until the first of the flanges is reached. This instantly stops it and the shock forces the liquid into the wound. The outside of the needle should first be coated with an antiseptic to prevent the entrance of skin bacteria.”
This contribution was greeted with great applause and the gun was seized by a female with a black eye which she declared had been due to the hoof of a mule—fortunately unshod. After the confusion had partly subsided the chairman rapped for order and Zahn proceeded to read his second paper:
“You are of course aware,” he began, “that during the world war the supply of glycerin became insufficient and that it was discovered that the addition of some sodium sulfite to a sugar solution which was seeded with the yeast plant altered the direction of the fermentation and caused the formation of large amounts of glycerin—sometimes as much as 30 per cent of the product. No careful study of the effect of this addition upon the yeast plant itself seems to have been made. I have now taken up this study and have reached some startling conclusions. Such organisms so produced seem to have lost many of their original characteristics. Ordinary saccharomyces cerevisae, for example, grown under these abnormal conditions will no longer produce normal yeast fermentation. The progeny of the original cells break, and we have the same sort of variation that is ordinarily obtained in raising plants from seed. By varying the nature of the disturbing substance; that is by replacing the sodium sulfite by other reagents, I have succeeded in producing still other modifications which have interesting properties economically important.
“On this slide, which we will now project by the lantern, we have a photograph of an organism capable of turning waste molasses into ethyl chloride which is much used as a local anaesthetic and may be used instead of ether. It is necessary to add sufficient salt to the solution to supply the chlorin and the sodium remains behind as sodium carbonate supplying that necessary product of the chemical industry at a price defying competition.
“Here we have the photograph of another modified organism capable of absorbing carbon dioxid from mixed gases containing it and building up starch in sunlight much after the manner of chlorophyl in the plant. The synthetic starch so produced differs in no particular from that found in plants and is obtained in large amount very cheaply from the waste gases given off by our stoves and furnaces. The supply of such material is very large and the starchy food that in this way may become available destroys at once all possibility of future famine and all necessity of raising wheat, oats, barley, potatoes or other starchy foods. I hope before long to be able to announce the discovery of other forms able to produce albumen and other proteids directly from the atmospheric nitrogen, so as to solve for all time the possibility of future starvation.”
This paper was greeted by cheering and immense enthusiasm. The chairman in proposing a vote of thanks said that the society had now amply justified the hopes of its founders and that this would long be marked as a red letter day in its history.