Ralph Osborn, Midshipman at Annapolis: A Story of Life at the U.S. Naval Academy

by Edward L. Beach

“No, you mayn’t. I know what you’d do with it; you’d drink it——”

“I never drink, sir, and you know I need it, sir. You told me to get this job done to-night.”

“Well, I’ll get you some myself, but I’ll not trust you with it. I’ll keep it in my possession; they’ll never steal alcohol from me; I’m too smart for them.” And as was his wont, Mr. Simpkins, first refusing and then invariably yielding, went whining to the engineers’ storeroom and brought back with him a one gallon can of alcohol, and placed it on the floor plates between his feet, snarling and talking volubly. In the meantime Collins was rapidly unscrewing the nuts that held the bonnet of the pump.

“They’ll never steal any alcohol from me,” cried Mr. Simpkins. “I know all of their tricks; I was an enlisted man; I’d never trust an enlisted man with alcohol, no sir. I know what they’d do with it——” And as he was rambling on in tearful tones Ralph’s attention was struck by seeing the trap-door just behind Mr. Simpkins slowly open, and Bollup’s cheerful, grinning face next appeared. The latter listened a moment to Simpkins’ sad talk, and then, deftly reaching out a hand, quickly took the can of alcohol, and immediately disappearing with it, quickly and quietly lowered the trap-door over him. At the same instant Mr. Simpkins looked down between his feet and saw the can was missing. He instantly gave a shout. “Where’s my alcohol?” he cried. He was petrified with astonishment. Back of him was a bulkhead; there was no one there, and no one could have passed him. Mr. Simpkins did not observe the neat-fitting trap-door and was utterly confounded. Ralph was so convulsed with laughter that he could not speak. Mr. Simpkins’ attention was drawn to this and he cried: “What are you laughing at, you midshipman? I’ll tell the chief engineer about your laughing——”

While he was thus talking, Bollup, watching his chance, opened the trap-door and peering out saw Mr. Simpkins’ back was toward him, his feet wide apart. Bollup quickly replaced the alcohol can between Mr. Simpkins’ feet. This was too much for Ralph. He gave a burst of laughter and ran into the fire room.

Mr. Simpkins started to walk away, blustering at the top of his voice, and in stepping off one of his feet collided with the can. He looked down, grabbed the can, and ran out of the engine room with it. Just what he thought he never expressed, but it was noticed that whenever thereafter he served out any alcohol the can was always tightly hugged between his two arms.

The joke was too good to keep. The midshipmen all knew about it that night. Collins, who had seen it, told Hester. Hester told a warrant machinist, Cockrell; Cockrell told Lieutenant Stroud, the chief engineer, and the latter told the wardroom officers and the captain. Everybody was much amused but no one attempted to learn who the midshipman was who had so successfully mystified Mr. Simpkins.

The Puritan remained several weeks in Long Island Sound, using Gardiner’s Bay as headquarters. Trips were made to Newport and New London; the midshipmen were kept busy with their lessons and duties, and all made appreciable progress in ship knowledge. But in engineering Ralph Osborn distanced all of his classmates. With the devoted Collins always anxious to serve him, and besides being much interested, there was every reason why Ralph should learn. Before the end of the summer he knew how to get a boiler ready for steam and he opened the proper valves and started the pumps with perfect confidence. He spent some of his spare time in the engine and fire rooms with Collins, and that Ralph was to stand first in his class in engineering was a foregone conclusion.

Ralph also did well with his deck studies. Occasionally he had a chance to steer the ship when under way; he could row and sail a boat like a veteran and frequently took the chains and heaved the lead for soundings.

In the middle of August the Puritan made a run to Newport where the midshipmen were taken ashore to the smokeless powder factory. Here the methods of manufacture of the explosive were explained to the young men. On the return trip Ralph was detailed to fire room duty, and he had made such progress that Chief Water Tender Hester actually permitted him to fire two furnaces. Ralph was delighted. He opened his furnace doors and threw in many shovelfuls of coal, manfully facing the blast of intense heat from the white hot fire that seemed to shrivel the flesh of his face. It must be admitted that Hester took an occasional look at Ralph’s two fires and did some of the firing himself. After an hour of this work, while firing, Ralph crouched low and looked into one of his furnaces.