NONSENSE BOTANY.

[Armchairia Comfortabilis] [Bassia Palealensis] [Bubblia Blowpipia] [Bluebottlia Buzztilentia] [Crabbia Horrida] [Smalltoothcombia Domestica] [Knutmigrata Simplice] [Tureenia Ladlecum] [Puffia Leatherbellowsa] [Queeriflora Babyöides]


Armchairia Comfortabilis.
Bassia Palealensis.

Bubblia Blowpipia.
Bluebottlia Buzztilentia.

Crabbia Horrida.
Smalltoothcombia Domestica.

Knutmigrata Simplice.
Tureenia Ladlecum.

Puffia Leatherbellowsa.
Queeriflora Babyöides.

NONSENSE ALPHABETS.

[No. 5] [No. 6]

[a] [b] [c] [d] [e] [f] [g] [h] [i] [j] [k] [l] [m] [n] [o] [p] [q] [r] [s] [t] [u] [v] [w] [x] [y] [z]

A

A was an Area Arch
Where washerwomen sat; They made a lot of lovely starch
To starch Papa's Cravat.

B

B was a Bottle blue,
Which was not very small; Papa he filled it full of beer, And then he drank it all.

C

C was Papa's gray Cat,
Who caught a squeaky Mouse; She pulled him by his twirly tail
All about the house.

D

D was Papa's white Duck,
Who had a curly tail; One day it ate a great fat frog,
Besides a leetle snail.

E

E was a little Egg,
Upon the breakfast table; Papa came in and ate it up
As fast as he was able.

F

F was a little Fish.
Cook in the river took it Papa said, "Cook! Cook! bring a dish!
And, Cook! be quick and cook it!"

G

G was Papa's new Gun;
He put it in a box; And then he went and bought a bun,
And walked about the Docks.

H

H was Papa's new Hat;
He wore it on his head; Outside it was completely black,
But inside it was red.

I

I was an Inkstand new,
Papa he likes to use it; He keeps it in his pocket now,
For fear that he should lose it.

J

J was some Apple Jam,
Of which Papa ate part; But all the rest he took away
And stuffed into a tart.

K

K was a great new Kite;
Papa he saw it fly Above a thousand chimney pots,
And all about the sky.

L

L was a fine new Lamp;
But when the wick was lit, Papa he said, "This Light ain't good!
I cannot read a bit!"

M

M was a dish of mince;
It looked so good to eat! Papa, he quickly ate it up,
And said, "This is a treat!"

N

N was a Nut that grew
High up upon a tree; Papa, who could not reach it, said,
"That's much too high for me!"

O

O was an Owl who flew
All in the dark away, Papa said, "What an owl you are!
Why don't you fly by day?"

P

P was a little Pig,
Went out to take a walk; Papa he said, "If Piggy dead,
He'd all turn into Pork!"

Q

Q was a Quince that hung
Upon a garden tree; Papa he brought it with him home,
And ate it with his tea.

R

R was a Railway Rug
Extremely large and warm; Papa he wrapped it round his head,
In a most dreadful storm.

S

S was Papa's new Stick,
Papa's new thumping Stick, To thump extremely wicked boys,
Because it was so thick.

T

T was a tumbler full
Of Punch all hot and good; Papa he drank it up, when in
The middle of a wood.

U

U was a silver urn,
Full of hot scalding water; Papa said, "If that Urn were mine,
I'd give it to my daughter!"

V

V was a Villain; once
He stole a piece of beef. Papa he said, "Oh, dreadful man!
That Villain is a Thief!"

W

W was a Watch of Gold:
It told the time of day, So that Papa knew when to come,
And when to go away.

X

X was King Xerxes, whom
Papa much wished to know; But this he could not do, because
Xerxes died long ago.

Y

Y was a Youth, who kicked
And screamed and cried like mad; Papa he said, "Your conduct is
Abominably bad!"

Z

Z was a Zebra striped
And streaked with lines of black; Papa said once, he thought he'd like
A ride upon his back.

[a] [b] [c] [d] [e] [f] [g] [h] [i] [j] [k] [l] [m] [n] [o] [p] [q] [r] [s] [t] [u] [v] [w] [x] [y] [z]

tumbled down, and hurt his Arm, against a bit of wood,

said. "My Boy, oh, do not cry; it cannot do you good!"

said, "A Cup of Coffee hot can't do you any harm."

said, "A Doctor should be fetched, and he would cure the arm."

said, "An Egg beat up with milk would quickly make him well."

said, "A Fish, if broiled, might cure, if only by the smell."

said, "Green Gooseberry fool, the best of cures I hold."

said, "His Hat should be kept on, to keep him from the cold."

said, "Some Ice upon his head will make him better soon."

said, "Some Jam, if spread on bread, or given in a spoon!"

said, "A Kangaroo is here,—this picture let him see."

said, "A Lamp pray keep alight, to make some barley tea."

said, "A Mulberry or two might give him satisfaction."

said, "Some Nuts, if rolled about, might be a slight attraction."

said, "An Owl might make him laugh, if only it would wink."

P said, "Some Poetry might be read aloud, to make him think."

said, "A Quince I recommend,—a Quince, or else a Quail."

said, "Some Rats might make him move, if fastened by their tail."

said, "A Song should now be sung, in hopes to make him laugh!"

said, "A Turnip might avail, if sliced or cut in half!"

said, "An Urn, with water hot, place underneath his chin!"

said, "I'll stand upon a chair, and play a Violin!"

said, "Some Whisky-Whizzgigs fetch, some marbles and a ball!"

said, "Some double XX ale would be the best of all!"

said, "Some Yeast mixed up with salt would make a perfect plaster!"

said, "Here is a box of Zinc! Get in, my little master!
We'll shut you up! We'll nail you down! We will, my little master!We think we've all heard quite enough of this your sad disaster!"