Tug his hair and pull his ear;
Whisper to him, “Zounds, sir!
Come, turn out now! don’t you hear?
Or I will let you down, sir!”
Ease away his foremost clews,
Round his hammock wander,
Tell him gently the (false) news,
“Here is the commander!”
See him start and ope his eye,
Eye that hath no vision;
Watch the sentry standing by
Laughing in derision.
Seize him smartly by the neck,
Turn his hammock over;
Leave him there upon the deck,
He will soon recover.
Lash him round the arms in time,
Douse him well with water.
Should he still to sleep incline,
Haul the lashing tauter.
Should this treatment not succeed,
Take no further bother;
Go and seek the rest you need;
Turn thou in, my brother!
The moral—that the midshipman of the preceding watch should turn in without being duly relieved—is questionable; but the hypothetical conditions under which he is ultimately recommended to adopt this course are certainly exceptional. No one could, with any show of justice, accuse him of having failed to make use of every legitimate device to rouse his relief!
Contributions were invited, as has been hinted in the editorial preface, from fellows who have gone to sea; and one of these avails himself of the opportunity to draw a comparison between his reception on board his first sea-going ship and that usually accorded to a fresh arrival on board the Britannia; considerably to the detriment of the latter.
He presented himself, in fear and trembling, on a cold and wet evening, to the officer of the watch, who received him with great courtesy: “Oh, you must be Jones? Come and report yourself to the first lieutenant. What a beastly night for you to join!” “No. 1” greets him with, “You poor little chap, you must be frozen!” calls a senior of the gunroom, and gives strict injunctions that Jones is to be made as happy as possible immediately; and the officer of the watch invites him to share his “watch” dinner at eight o’clock.
Jones, pondering over these things, makes some resolutions concerning his future conduct towards his juniors; which, let us hope, he did not fail to carry out.