“At the time of my return, the great Government writers and political agents were John Reeves, who had been chairman of the Loyal Association against Republicans and Levellers; John Bowles; John Gifford; William Gifford; Sir Frederick Morton Eden, Bart.; the Reverend Mr. Ireland, now Dean of Westminster; the Reverend John Brand; the Reverend Herbert Marsh, now Bishop of Peterborough; Mallet Du Pan; Sir Francis D’Ivernois; and Nicholas Vansittart. These were all pamphlet-writers, supporting Pitt and the war through thick and thin. They, looking upon me as a fellow-labourer, had all sent their pamphlets to me at Philadelphia; and all of them, except Marsh, Vansittart, and the two Frenchmen, had written to me laudatory letters. All but the parsons called themselves ’Squires in the title-pages of their pamphlets. Look at me now! I had been bred up with a smock-frock upon my back; that frock I had exchanged for a soldier’s coat; I had been out of England almost the whole of my time from the age of [twenty]. We used to give in those times the name of ’Squire to none but gentlemen of great landed estates, keeping their carriages, hounds, and so forth: look at me, then, in whose mind my boyish idea of a ’Squire had been carried about the world with me: look at me, I say, with letters from four ’Squires and from Reverends on my table; and wonder not that my head was half turned! Only think of me (who, just about twelve years before, was clumping about with nailed shoes on my feet, and with a smock-frock on my back) being in literary correspondence with four ’Squires, two Reverends, and a Baronet! Look at me, and wonder that I did not lose my senses! And if I had remained in America, God knows what might have happened.
“Luckily I came to England, and that steadied my head pretty quickly. To my utter astonishment and confusion, I found all my ’Squires and Reverends, and my Baronet too—all, in one way or other, dependents on the Government, and, out of the public purse, profiting from their pamphlets. John Reeves, Esquire, who was a barrister, but never practised, I found joint patentee of the office of King’s Printer—a sinecure worth, to him, about 4000l. a year, which he had got for thirty years, just then begun. John Bowles, Esquire, (also a briefless barrister) I found a Commissioner of Dutch Property; and the public recollect the emoluments of that office, as exposed in 1809. John Gifford, Esquire, I found a Police Magistrate, with a pension of 300l. a year besides. William Gifford, Esquire, I found sharing the profits of Canning’s anti-Jacobin newspaper (set up and paid for by the Treasury), and with a sinecure of 329l. a year besides. My Baronet I found with rent-free apartments in Hampton Court Palace, and with what else I have forgotten. My Reverend John Brand I found with the living of St. George, Southwark, given him by Lord Loughborough (then Chancellor), he already having a living in Suffolk. My Reverend Ireland I found with the living of Croydon, or the expectancy of it, and also found that he was looking steadily at old Lord Liverpool. The Reverend Herbert Marsh I found a pension-hunter, and he soon succeeded to the tune of 514l. a year. Mallet Du Pan I found dead, but I found that he had been a pensioner, and I found his widow a pensioner, and his son in one of the public offices. And Nicholas Vansittart, Esquire, who had written a pamphlet to prove that the war had enriched the nation, I found, O God! a Commissioner of Scotch Herrings! Hey, dear! as the Lancashire men say; I thought it would have broken my heart!
“Of all these men, Reeves and William Gifford were the only ones of talent—the former a really learned lawyer, and, politics aside, as good a man as ever lived—a clever man; a head as clear as spring water; considerate, mild, humane; made by nature to be an English judge. I did not break with him on account of politics. We said nothing about them for years. I always had the greatest regard for him; and there he now is in the grave, leaving, the newspapers say, two hundred thousand pounds, without hardly a soul knowing that there ever was such a man! The fate of William Gifford was much about the same: both lived and died bachelors; both left large sums of money; both spent their lives in upholding measures which, in their hearts, they abhorred, and in eulogizing men whom, in their hearts, they despised; and, in spite of their literary labours, the only chance that they have of being remembered, for even ten years to come, is this notice of them from a pen that both most anxiously wished to silence many years ago. Amongst the first things that Reeves ever said to me was: ‘I tell you what, Cobbett, we have only two ways here; we must either kiss,—or kick them; and you must make your choice at once.’ I resolved to kick. William Gifford had more asperity in his temper, and was less resigned. He despised Pitt and Canning and the whole crew; but he loved ease, was timid; he was their slave all his life, and all his life had to endure a conflict between his pecuniary interest and his conscience.
“As to the rest of my ’Squires and other dignified pamphleteers, they were a low, talentless, place-and-pension-hunting crew; and I was so disgusted with the discoveries that I had made, that I trembled at the thought of falling into the ranks with them. Love of ease was not in me; the very idea of becoming rich had never entered into my mind; and my horror at the thought of selling my talents for money, and of plundering the country with the help of the means that God had given me wherewith to assist in supporting its character, filled me with horror not to be expressed.”
FOOTNOTES
[1] The Right Hon. George Rose, M.P., a Government official, and one of the luckiest sinecurists of his day. His “success” in life aroused, alternately, the ridicule and the wrath of his cotemporaries:—
“George Rose, Esq., Secretary to the Treasury, &c., &c., &c., &c., &c., &c., &c.”—Mathias: “Pursuits of Literature.”
“Greedy:—George Rose’s moderation, and not satisfied.”—Pigott’s “Political Dictionary” (1796).
“Who in his lifetime held situations worth 10,000l. per annum, and whose family, it has been calculated, received in principal and interest, nearly two millions of the public money.”—“Black Book; or Corruption Unmasked” (1820).