But there need be no tears shed on any page of this food book. For I am not going to “write another.”

[CONTENTS]

[CHAPTER I]
BREAKFAST
Formal or informal?—An eccentric old gentleman—The ancient
Britons—Breakfast in the days of Good Queen Bess—A
few tea statistics—Garraway’s—Something about coffee—Brandy
for breakfast—The evolution of the staff of life—Free
Trade—The cheap loaf, and no cash to buy it Pages 1-9
[CHAPTER II]
BREAKFAST (continued)
Country-house life—An Englishwoman at her best—Guests’
comforts—What to eat at the first meal—A few choice
recipes—A noble grill-sauce—The poor outcast—Appetising
dishes—Hotel “worries”—The old regime and the new—“No
cheques”; no soles, and “whitings is hoff”—A
halibut steak—Skilly and oakum—Breakfast out of the
rates 10-21
[CHAPTER III]
BREAKFAST (continued)
Bonnie Scotland—Parritch an’ cream—Fin’an haddies—A knife
on the ocean wave—À la Français—In the gorgeous East—Chota
hazri—English as she is spoke—Dâk bungalow fare—Some
quaint dishes—Breakfast with “my tutor”—A Don’s
absence of mind 22-33
[CHAPTER IV]
LUNCHEON
Why lunch?—Sir Henry Thompson on overdoing it—The children’s
dinner—City lunches—“Ye Olde Cheshyre Cheese”—Doctor
Johnson—Ye pudding—A great fall in food—A
snipe pudding—Skirt, not rump steak—Lancashire hot-pot—A
Cape “brady” 34-43
[CHAPTER V]
LUNCHEON (continued)
Shooting luncheons—Cold tea and a crust—Clear turtle—Such
larks!—Jugged duck and oysters—Woodcock pie—Hunting
luncheons—Pie crusts—The true Yorkshire pie—Race-course
luncheons—Suggestions to caterers—The “Jolly
Sandboys” stew—Various recipes—A race-course sandwich—Angels’
pie—“Suffolk pride”—Devilled larks—A light lunch
in the Himalayas 44-58
[CHAPTER VI]
DINNER
Origin—Early dinners—The noble Romans—“Vitellius the
Glutton”—Origin of haggis—The Saxons—Highland hospitality—The
French invasion—Waterloo avenged—The bad
fairy “Ala”—Comparisons—The English cook or the foreign
food torturer?—Plain or flowery—Fresh fish and the flavour
wrapped up—George Augustus Sala—Doctor Johnson
again 59-72
[CHAPTER VII]
DINNER (continued)
Imitation—Dear Lady Thistlebrain—Try it on the dog—Criminality
of the English caterer—The stove, the stink,
the steamer—Roasting v. baking—False economy—Dirty
ovens—Frills and fingers—Time over dinner—A long-winded
Bishop—Corned beef 73-81
[CHAPTER VIII]
DINNER (continued)
A merry Christmas—Bin F—A Noel banquet—Water-cress—How
Royalty fares—The Tsar—Bouillabaisse—Tournedos—Bisque—
Vol-au-vent—Pré salé—Chinese banquets—A fixed
bayonet—Bernardin Salmi—The duck-squeezer—American
cookery—“Borston” beans—He couldn’t eat beef 82-96
[CHAPTER IX]
DINNER (continued)
French soup—A regimental dinner—A city banquet—Baksheesh—
Aboard ship—An ideal dinner—Cod’s liver—Sleeping in the
kitchen—A fricandeau—Regimental messes—Peter the
Great—Napoleon the Great—Victoria—The Iron Duke—
Mushrooms—A medical opinion—A North Pole banquet—Dogs
as food—Plain unvarnished fare—The Kent Road
cookery—More beans than bacon 97-110
[CHAPTER X]
VEGETABLES
Use and abuse of the potato—Its eccentricities—Its origin—Hawkins,
not Raleigh, introduced it into England—With or
without the “jacket”?—Don’t let it be à-la-ed—Benevolence
and large-heartedness of the cabbage family—Pease on
earth—Pythagoras on the bean—“Giving him beans”—“Haricot”
a misnomer—“Borston” beans—Frijoles—The
carrot—Crécy soup—The Prince of Wales—The Black
Prince and the King of Bohemia 111-122
[CHAPTER XI]
VEGETABLES (continued)
The brief lives of the best—A vegetable with a pedigree—
Argenteuil—The Elysian Fields—The tomato the emblem of
love—“Neeps”—Spinach—“Stomach-brush”—The savoury
tear-provoker—Invaluable for wasp-stings—Celery merely
cultivated “smallage”—The “Apium”—The parsnip—O
Jerusalem!—The golden sunflower—How to get pheasants—A
vegetarian banquet—“Swelling wisibly” 123-133
[CHAPTER XII]
CURRIES
Different modes of manufacture—The “native” fraud—“That
man’s family”—The French kari—A Parsee curry—“The
oyster in the sauce”—Ingredients—Malay curry—Locusts—When
to serve—What to curry—Prawn curry—Dry curry,
champion recipe—Rice—The Bombay duck 134-146
[CHAPTER XIII]
SALADS
Nebuchadnezzar v. Sydney Smith—Salt?—No salad-bowl—French
origin—Apocryphal story of Francatelli—Salads and
salads—Water-cress and dirty water—Salad-maker born
not made—Lobster salad—Lettuce, Wipe or wash?—
Mayonnaise—Potato salad—Tomato ditto—Celery ditto—A
memorable ditto 147-157
[CHAPTER XIV]
SALADS AND CONDIMENTS
Roman salad—Italian ditto—Various other salads—Sauce for
cold mutton—Chutnine—Raw chutnee—Horse-radish sauce—
Christopher North’s sauce—How to serve a mackerel—Sauce
Tartare—Ditto for sucking pig—Delights of making
Sambal—A new language 158-169
[CHAPTER XV]
SUPPER
Cleopatra’s supper—Oysters—Danger in the Aden bivalve—Oyster
stew—Ball suppers—Pretty dishes—The Taj Mahal—Aspic—Bloater
paste and whipped cream—Ladies’ recipes—Cookery
colleges—Tripe—Smothered in onions—North
Riding fashion—An hotel supper—Lord Tomnoddy at the
“Magpie and Stump” 170-180
[CHAPTER XVI]
SUPPER (continued)
Old supper-houses—The Early Closing Act—Evans’s—Cremorne
Gardens—“The Albion”—Parlour cookery—Kidneys fried
in the fire-shovel—The true way to grill a bone—“Cannie
Carle”—My lady’s bower—Kidney dumplings—A Middleham
supper—Steaks cut from a colt by brother to “Strafford”
out of sister to “Bird on the Wing” 181-191
[CHAPTER XVII]
“CAMPING OUT”
The ups and downs of life—Stirring adventures—Marching on to
glory—Shooting in the tropics—Pepper-pot—With the
Rajah Sahib—Goat-sacrifices at breakfast time—Simla to
Cashmere—Manners and customs of Thibet—Burmah—No
place to get fat in—Insects—Voracity of the natives—Snakes—Sport
in the Jungle—Loaded for snipe, sure to
meet tiger—With the gippos—No baked hedgehog—Cheap
milk 192-205
[CHAPTER XVIII]
COMPOUND DRINKS
Derivation of punch—“Five”—The “milk” brand—The best
materials—Various other punches—Bischoff or Bishop—“Halo”
punch—Toddy—The toddy tree of India—Flip—A
“peg”—John Collins—Out of the guard-room 206-218
[CHAPTER XIX]
CUPS AND CORDIALS
Five recipes for claret cup—Balaclava cup—Orgeat—Ascot cup—Stout
and champagne—Shandy-gaff for millionaires—Ale
cup—Cobblers which will stick to the last—Home Ruler—Cherry
brandy—Sloe gin—Home-made, if possible—A new
industry—Apricot brandy—Highland cordial—Bitters—Jumping-
powder—Orange brandy—“Mandragora”—“Sleep
rock thy brain!” 219-231
[CHAPTER XX]
THE DAYLIGHT DRINK
Evil effects of dram-drinking—The “Gin-crawl”—Abstinence in
H.M. service—City manners and customs—Useless to argue
with the soaker—Cocktails—Pet names for drams—The
free lunch system—Fancy mixtures—Why no cassis?—Good
advice like water on a duck’s back 232-245
[CHAPTER XXI]
GASTRONOMY IN FICTION AND DRAMA
Thomas Carlyle—Thackeray—Harrison Ainsworth—Sir Walter
Scott—Miss Braddon—Marie Corelli—F. C. Philips—Blackmore—
Charles Dickens—Pickwick reeking with alcohol—Brandy
and oysters—Little Dorrit—Great Expectations—Micawber
as a punch-maker—David Copperfield—“Practicable”
food on the stage—“Johnny” Toole’s story of Tiny
Tim and the goose 246-259
[CHAPTER XXII]
RESTORATIVES
William of Normandy—A “head” wind at sea—Beware the
druggist—Pick-me-ups of all sorts and conditions—Anchovy
toast for the invalid—A small bottle—Straight talks to
fanatics—Total abstinence as bad as the other thing—Moderation
in all matters—Wisely and slow—Carpe diem—But
have a thought for the morrow 260-274

[CHAPTER I]

BREAKFAST

“The day breaks slow, but e’en must man break-fast.”