Well, Mable, the doboys is ether awful brave or awful stupid. They might have been after birds nests the way they went at it. Nobody but me seemed to figger that we might be comin up in front of that machine gun insted of behind it. It was just beginnin to strike me that this didnt have much to do with an artilery runner when a couple of the doboys off to one side began throwin hand grenades. I heard a lot of cussin an when we got up there was five Fritzes standin in a pit with a machine gun. There hands was up in the air except for a couple that didnt count.
It was the first time Id seen them doin any real soldierin. An do you know, Mable, there wasnt a woman among em. They wasnt even chained to there guns. Theres something wrong with this war or else the styles are changin.
One of the doboys took them back. They were a pretty poor lot an didnt have anything worth while with them. The doboys seemed to have some idear where they were goin so we stuck along. They went down in a few dug outs. In one of them we found six Fritzes an four looger pistels. That made everybody feel pretty good except the fellos that was left out. They voted solid it was a rotten show. The machine guns was off more to one side now but it seemed like they was throwin a lot of shells around without much regard to where we was.
We came out on a road an ran into a doboy Captin an two or three men. Havin nothin better to do we followed him. He turned up a little railroad track like the one that used to run around the county fair for a dime. It twisted along thru the woods without seemin to come out much of anyplace. Then we came round a bend an about fifty yards away was a gang of Fritzes stokin shells into four whoppin big guns as fast as they could fire them out.
The next thing I knew I was runnin down that little track behind the Captin. Quite a ways behind, Mable. Everybody was cussin like a mule-skinner. Angus was sayin things in Skotch I bet hed hate to have rote down as his last words. But the Fritzes didnt seem to have no idear of makin them that. They stopped for one look an dove in the bushes like a bunch of rabbits. All except a few that was to scared to run. They just stood an gobbled at us.
It seemed to me wed done something worth sittin around an havin a postmortem about. But the Captin just rote the name of his company on one of the guns with a piece of chalk. Then he lit his pipe an started off down the track agen. We came out on a road after a while an there was the Major an a whole lot of doboys. The doboys was sittin on the railroad track, smokin cigarets an watchin the shells bust in the woods all around them like they was at a baseball game. A squad of Fritzes was puttin a few of our doboys on stretchers an carryin them off down the road.
Well, Mable, there aint much more to tell. The Major sent me over to a tin house where the Lootenant was. I found him dryin off by an old Fritz stove an eatin somebodies Irun Rashuns. I never could find out when the battle was offishully over. There was machine guns poppin away all the afternoon but nobody seemed to be botherin much about them. I guess they just got sick of it an quit. Anyway they were gone by night.
Now were lyin around takin it easy. We fire at the Fritzes all day an they fire back at us. They havnt interfered with my meals yet tho so let them go to it. Every dug out has been turned inside out. I guess the Fritzes dont get charged for losin equipment like we do. From the amount of stuff we found they must get pretty near undressed before they run away.
Ive just been figgerin up the total victory with Angus. We got five loogers, two pair of feel glasses (one broke), a gold watch that can be fixed, three pocket fulls of buttons, a lot of letters we cant read an four belts. As for helmets an gas masks an the like all you got to do is reach your hand out the dug out door. If we could only soovenir a Ford truck to carry all this stuff wed be fixed.
Im goin to quit now an get some sleep. Angus says lay up all you can while you have a chance. Hes laid up enuff to last him the rest of his life since Ive known him.