Just now I got to quit cause theres no armistice yet an Im supposed to go on gas gard at five o'clock. Its six now. The fello thats on gard has been yellin down the stairs at me fer an hour so I guess Ill go up an see whats the trouble. Hes an awful nervus fello.
yours till I come off gas gard
Bill
Dere Mable:
The war is over. Finney le gare. The six inch head lines lost their job at leven oclock Monday mornin. Its so quiet you can almost hear it. It sure will be a come down when we have to look at picturs in the Sunday papers of the Prince of Whales visitin a tooth pick factory an the flower show at Passadinner.
It wasnt much of an endin to a worlds champeenship scrap. Id always thought that when they ended wars like this they lined up same as in the pictur your father has of whats his name surrenderin to thingumbob at Yorktown. I thought General Fosh would come ridin out on a big white horse an General Hinderberg on a big black one. Hed hand Fosh his sord or whissel or whatever it is that Generals carry nowdays. Then everybody would cheer, the bands would bust out with the Star Spangled Banner an it would be just like after the fello rides a bicicle over five elefants in the circus. After that wed hand our guns over to some museum an go home. Somehow or other it was to big to peter out the way it did.
We fired off an on Sunday night an then quit when it got daylight. Most of the fellos were down in the dug outs catchin a little sleep except for the gards an a few others that was monkeyin around upstairs. Me an Angus was sittin in a little trench in front of the first gun. Angus was cleanin his revolver. I might have known from that that something out of the way was goin to happen.
The Fritzes was sowin a big field in front of the battery with wash boilers. Theyd been at it all mornin but about the only thing they was killen was the grass. Not bein interested in the hay crop we wasnt callin them up to tell them about it. Every ten minites or so you could feel a big one land. Then wed stick our heads up over the top of the trench an watch it throw up mud in the air like Old Faithless guyser.
We was talkin about the armistice. Angus said if it was sined up we was to go to college in Ingland for six months or else to Rusha to fight the Slovo Checkracks or the Checko Swaybacks or somebody. Not wantin to do ether I couldnt see where the armistice was goin to do me much good.
Just then I saw the Top comin but it was to late to go anywhere. He says "I want you fellos to go an help unload a rashun truck thats stuck in the mud down the road. An by the way, the wars over in about five minits so dont go around shootin anybody after that unless you want to land in the gard house." I bet if the angel Gabriul stuck his head out of a cloud an said the world was goin to end in twenty minits all that would worry the Top would be thinkin up details to keep us sweatin that long.
Thats about all there was to the end of the war as far as I was concerned. Angus says "Ill be damed." Then he squinted thru his gun an handed it over to me an says "See if you think thats rust up near the front end." We stopped everybody that came along an told them about it. Most of them would just say "Ill be damed." Then theyd stand around for a minit thinkin it over an ask "When are we goin home?" Youd think me an Angus was runnin some kind of a Cooks toor.