Crismus is only a few days away. I suppose theyll let us sleep half an hour extra for a Crismus present an then forget to tell the buglers like they did last year. About all it amounted to was standin around in the rain half an hour longer for mess.
I havnt had my feet under a table now in four months. Theyve gotten so big since I been wearin these army shoes that I dont know if theyll go under any more. When I get home Ill probably pile my whole dinner in a soup plate an take it out in the back yard.
All feelin aside, Mable, it certinly will be good to get my food seperated agen. These fellos would pour your coffee over your dinner if there was any room. When you come up to the kitchin the first K.P. sticks a piece of meat in the bottom of your mess kit. Thats a sort of a foundashun. Then a spoonful of loose potadoes hit it like a soft nose bullet an thats the last you see of your meat. The next fello covers that with a quart of gravy an sticks a pickle in the top with his thum like inlaid work. The last one levels it off with a piece of bread slammed on like a cover. Angus says its a wise man that knows his own dinner unless hes got a good memory.
"LEVELS IT OFF WITH A PIECE OF BREAD"
Ive learned to put down an awful lot of food, tho, in less time than it takes to chew it. You got to be fast if you want any seconds. Some of these fellos must store up there food like squirrels cause there finished an back in the line before its moved ten places. Theres always some smart alex that washes up his mess kit an pretends hes just come up from the picket line. We got a mess sargent tho that makes Shylock Homes look like a night watchman. He could tell yesterdays greece from todays if you scoured your mess kit with sandpaper.
The Fritzes are more balled up on there money than the French. These fellos dont even know what the stuffs worth themselves. They have two kinds of money, fennigs an marks. I dont know wether marks make fennigs or fennigs make marks. I know they both make me tired. Its about as easy to buy anything here as it is to check up a Chinese lawndry bill. They tell you the price of a thing in fennigs an marks. Then you got to figger that into franks an figger what its all worth in United States. Just to give your mind a little exercise fennigs an marks aint the same more than five minites. Everybody has there own idear of what there worth an the fello thats doin the sellin never has the same idear that you have.
The first time I bought a glass of beer in Germany it took me so long to pay for it I almost got arrested for bein out after taps. We never did decide the thing. The reason none of these fellos over here never get spiffed is because they make you pay after every drink. Youd be more likely to die of thirst.
I havnt received no Crismus box yet. Im glad you an your mother did as I told you an didnt pay any atenshun to those slips I sent you for curiosities. If thered been any chance of sendin you anything Id have done it. You dont want to feel bad about that tho, cause this idear of looking at Crismus like a horse swap is all wrong. I certinly hope you have a merry Crismus. Youll probably get this letter sometime in August.