Etiquette Made Easy

by Edward Summers Squier

CALLS

FORMAL CALLS are to be made in the afternoon between three o’clock and half-past five.

If a hostess has a day at home, formal calls on her should be made on that day. It is well also so to time visits for congratulation or to return thanks for any hospitality, or the like, as to have them also fall on the day at home. Usually, a due attention by visitors to this set time for calling is appreciated by a hostess.

While the formal hours for calls are in the afternoon as indicated above, the time varies in different neighborhoods. Evening calls are common in the country necessarily as a matter of convenience. And, while in the city women pay no formal calls on Sunday, these are permitted in smaller places. Ordinarily, too, there is license in the country as to the length even of formal calls, which may be extended without impropriety far beyond the limit of fifteen or twenty minutes which is well established in the city. A new resident or visitor in any community should be at pains to get information as to the local usage, and conform to it in all details.

It is permissible for men in our country to make social calls in the afternoon on Sunday, or in the evening. The exigencies of business are the excuse for the departure from the stricter form, which still holds in the case of women. The hour of such evening calls in the larger cities is from eight to nine, but the time is earlier in smaller towns and in the country. In every instance, the local custom is to be followed. Of course, too, men of leisure may pay their calls in the afternoon.

New residents in a neighborhood must await calls from those already established there. In the city, the first calls of the social season should be received by the hostess who first sends out her at-home cards. Where women have met out of town, and wish to continue the acquaintance in the city, the unmarried woman should call on the matron, or one who is under any obligation for hospitality should make the first call. Unless a distinction be drawn for some such reason, either may properly pay the first visit.

It is notorious that in the large cities there is no welcome for the newcomer from the dweller next door or across the street. The conditions of city life justify such aloofness. On the other hand, the conditions of life in the smaller places warrant exactly the opposite in the matter of hospitality. It is the recognized duty of the older residents to welcome new arrivals by calling on them promptly, after the strangers have had time to dispose themselves comfortably.

There are many varieties of those calls that are imposed by formal courtesy. Thus, in the matter of weddings, it becomes the duty of any one who has taken official part in the affair, such as a bride’s-maid or a best man, to call on the mother of the bride within a few days after the marriage ceremony, and also to call on the bride immediately after her return from the honeymoon trip. The like duty devolves on invited guests to a home wedding, to a wedding-reception and to a wedding-breakfast.