Etiquette Made Easy

by Edward Summers Squier

It is the business of the wife to fulfill her husband’s formal social duties by leaving his cards with hers whenever entertainment should be acknowledged.

Where two spinsters share a residence, a woman caller, the first time in the season, should leave two of her cards, and also, if she is a married woman, two of her husband’s. So, too, a card should be left for a daughter or sister who is hostess of the house, even though she may be unmarried.

When an unmarried girl uses her individual card, she should follow the procedure indicated for the matron in the use of hers. Or she may use the combination card of her mother and herself as already described above.

A call on a mother and daughter who are out requires the leaving of two cards. The same procedure is necessary in the case of a hostess who has a friend staying with her. Likewise, a call made on a friend who is a guest in another’s house demands the leaving of two cards. This rule applies in the case of a man as well as of a woman. It should be observed that two cards are deemed sufficient in most cases. Where, however, the hostess has a guest staying with her and also daughters of her own, three cards are to be left.

A man wishing to call on a particular woman must be punctilious in leaving cards not only for the particular one in whom he is interested, but also for the mother or chaperon, and still a third for the host. But, if a call is made on a woman on her at-home day, no card need be left, unless the call is in acknowledgment of entertainment. In the latter case, a single card is left for the host. It is advisable, however, that in his first call he should leave a card for convenience in the matter of address.

It is permissible on certain occasions to leave visiting-cards with the servant at the door, or to send them through the mail or by a messenger, instead of making the call in person. Sometimes a woman who is owing a call thus sends her card along with an invitation, as for luncheon or dinner. The invitation is considered to justify the merely formal matter of the card. So, too, a person receiving an invitation from a hostess who is a stranger must, if the invitation is declined, leave cards within two weeks after the date of the entertainment. An invalid may send cards through the post in acknowledgment of calls of inquiry, and a woman in mourning is able to fulfill her obligations in the same manner. Cards are formally left by all who receive invitations to a church wedding, and the requirement is the same for those to whom an announcement of the marriage is sent. Such cards are demanded of men and women both, to be left for the mother of the bride within a fortnight after the ceremony. Cards are left within a proper time after any form of entertainment to which the members of a club are invited, though there may be no other social acquaintance with the hostess. In calls of condolence or inquiry, cards are always left. They may be used also, as hereinbefore stated, to announce a prolonged absence or a change of address.

When cards are left in person, they are delivered to the servant at the door. One or two or three are to be left according to the circumstances. The caller should tell the servant the persons for whom the cards are designed.

Good taste dictates that calls of inquiry concerning the condition of a sick person should be made in person. Cards should be left at the time of such calls, except in the case of intimates. The cards should not be mailed or sent by messenger.

Acknowledgment of cards of condolence are made after a funeral by a large black-edged card of thanks, which should be sent within a month. Such cards are usually merely printed, not engraved. The wording should be of the simplest.

Mrs. Jack Robinson
returns thanks to
.............................
for her kind sympathy