It has long been the custom for the ladies to leave the dining-room after the fruit course, and to have coffee served in the drawing-room. In such case, the men stand until the women have passed out. Afterward, they seat themselves where they please, and smoking is permitted. The present-day tendency, however, is toward lessening the time of this separation and often doing away with it altogether, especially at less formal dinners, which otherwise follow an essentially identical routine.
Both host and hostess must say farewell, standing, with a handclasp, to each guest.
As for the guest, his first duty is to arrive exactly on time. Fifteen minutes of delay is the limit.
On ceremonious occasions, the hostess writes a lady’s name on a card, and places it in an envelope. This is given to the male guest on his arrival by a servant, and from it he learns the identity of the one he is to take in to dinner. When the dinner is announced, he offers his arm, and escorts the woman into the dining-room, where he pulls out her chair, and stands until she is seated.
It is permissible for dinner-partners, after the opening courses, to give some attention to their other immediate neighbors.
A guest is free to leave at any time after the conclusion of the dinner. Usually, an hour is long enough to remain after the meal is ended.
In taking leave, the guest must express a courteous appreciation of the hospitality that has been extended.
“I am under deep obligation to you, Mrs. Johnson, for a most delightful evening.”
This, or any similar pleasant phrases of gratitude, will serve. The words of appreciation should be particularly addressed to the hostess always.
Evening dress is required for all guests at a formal dinner. For men, the regulation swallow-tail is imperative. The wearing of a dinner-jacket is not allowable on any occasion of ceremony.