Etiquette Made Easy

by Edward Summers Squier

The wardrobe requirements for the visitor at a house-party are regulated by the probable nature of the entertainment that will be provided, by the season of the year, and by the particular social status of the hosts. No hard-and-fast rule can be given. Thus, where a woman visits a country house for a few days in the summer, she needs no larger wardrobe than can be carried in the tiniest of trunks, suitcase and hat-box. The hat used for traveling will serve her also on occasion during the visit, but she will need in addition a sport-hat for tramping or out-door games and another hat of sufficient elegance for wear at a lawn party or wherever more elaborate dress is necessary. The frocks should follow the lines thus indicated, and there should be a sufficiency of dainty waists and footgear besides the inevitable decolleté gowns for evening wear.

For the man, also, evening clothes are essential, and he should be provided with flannels, besides the business suit in which he travels. For winter, the change in season would demand a corresponding change in the matter of dress, especially for out of doors.

The hostess plans sufficient entertainment for her guests, but, if she is discreet, she does not plan too many things. It is customary to leave the mornings to the devices of the guests, to be occupied by them according to their individual pleasure. Where a morning start is required on some expedition, such as a picnic, the hostess is likely to leave the evening free from any special entertainment.

It is the duty of the guest to conform to the habits of the household. If the party assembles together for breakfast, he or she must make one of the number though the hour may be too early or too late for personal convenience. Likewise, the guest should accept such disposal of his or her time as the hostess may choose to make, even when the preference would be quite otherwise. The tactful hostess, of course, studies the likes and dislikes of her guests, and seeks to reconcile her hospitality so far as possible to their prejudices.

It is customary to give tips on leaving a house-party to those servants with whom the guest has been brought more closely in contact. The maid who has attended to the room should receive a dollar from the visitor for a few days; the butler, if there is one, should receive a dollar and a half. The amount for the chauffeur should be regulated to some extent by his personal service in the guest’s behalf. Where there has been none, a dollar is sufficient.

These figures are applicable in the cases of unmarried women and bachelors, although the tendency of the latter is to give more. The sums named, however, are regarded as acceptable by the servants themselves. Naturally, they enjoy the lavish, even prodigal tips given by certain persons of wealth, who are more ostentatious than discreet. Such indiscretions, however, need not set up a false standard for other guests.

In the case of a husband and wife, the tips to maid and butler, etc., should be increased. It is usual for the wife to tip the female servants, while the husband satisfies those of his own sex. When the care of the guest’s shoes devolves on a house-boy, he, too, should be remembered with a half-dollar.

The male guests frequently give a tip of a dollar or more to the cook.

It is the duty of the hostess in the case of a woman visitor to bid her farewell in person, even if this should necessitate arising at an unpleasantly early hour. But in the case of a man’s leaving thus early, it suffices if she makes her farewell the night before. It then becomes the duty of the host to attend on the guest for the breakfast and departure.