Etiquette Made Easy

by Edward Summers Squier

It is a part of good tact on the part of a host or hostess in making introductions to add a few words of explanation as to some particular interest of each, which may be of assistance to them at the beginning of their conversation.

In every instance, the greatest care should be taken by the person making an introduction to pronounce both names with the utmost clearness. Nothing is more annoying than an indistinct mumble that leaves the hearers uninformed.

When, for any reason, one fails to understand a stranger’s name at the time of introduction, it is permissible to ask it.

“Pardon me, but I did not understand the name.”

There are some variations that should be noted as to the manner of acknowledging an introduction. In her own home, a woman should offer her hand, while saying, “Mrs. Smith, I am very glad to meet you,” or any similar phrase of cordial greeting. But such a cordial phrase is not to be used by a woman when a man is presented to her, unless she is the hostess. A man, on the contrary, on receiving his introduction to a lady, should express his appreciation in a courteous sentence.

“I am very glad to meet you, Miss Robinson.”

The tendency to-day is toward elimination of handshaking by women on the occasion of an introduction, except in the case of a hostess. A slight bow of the head, a smile and the repetition of the stranger’s name are deemed enough. But many women still prefer a less formal manner, and give their hand when an introduction is made.

It is the duty of a hostess to stand up when receiving an introduction. This applies equally whether the stranger is a man or a woman. But a woman other than the hostess, when a member of a group, remains seated during any introduction to her unless it is of one her superior in age or station, whom she should honor by rising. Otherwise, it is preferable for a woman to stand in acknowledging an introduction of one of her own sex, though she should remain seated when a man is presented to her.

In England, it is usual to omit introductions among those gathered in the same house, and guests are expected to conduct themselves as acquaintances without this formality. In our country, however, the custom has not prevailed to any considerable extent, and it is not ordinarily proper for strangers to address each other without having been introduced, even though they are fellow-guests.

A hostess should introduce all her guests one to another at ordinary dinner-parties, luncheons, or breakfasts. But, in the case of very large dinner-parties, she is required only to introduce those who are to be partners at table, though it is advisable for her to make other introductions to any extent convenient. At the table, however, introductions should be carefully avoided. If the women leave the table before the men, other introductions may be made among them in the drawing-room. The men, too, on returning to the drawing-room may be presented to such women as they have not already met.