401. Children should obey their parents, but in the spirit of reason. We do not obey a father who gives orders for the treatment of a sick person contrary to those of the physician; nor one, who being himself ill, demands things that are not good for him; nor one who bids his son steal, or appropriate trust funds, or sacrifice his youthful bloom. We do not even obey him when he tells us to spell a word wrongly or strike a false note on the lyre. If your father forbids you to philosophize, show him by your manner of life, by prompt obedience, by good temper, by unselfishness, how good a thing philosophy is. But after all, the command of the universal Father is more urgent upon you; which is, to be just, kind, benevolent, sober, high-souled; above labours and above pleasures; pure from all envy and plotting. You need not assume the outward appearance of a philosopher; for the power of philosophy is in the innermost part of the soul, which the father can no more reach than the tyrant[46].
Example of gladiators and soldiers.
402. The fancy of young men is easily attracted by the vision of virtue, but it is hard for them to persevere; they are like soft cheese which slips away from the hook by which it is taken up[47]. We must therefore put before them an ideal which appeals to them, and in which the advantages of fixed purpose and severe training are apparent to the eye. Such is the training of the athlete, the gladiator, and the soldier[48]. The teachers of wrestling bid the pupil try again after each fall[49]; the trained boxer is eager to challenge the most formidable opponent[50]. The gladiator has learnt the lesson that pain is no evil, when he stands up wounded before a sympathetic crowd and makes a sign that it matters nothing[51]. But most of all the soldier’s oath serves as an example, when he pledges himself to serve Caesar faithfully all his life: let the young philosopher pledge himself to serve his God as faithfully, to submit to the changes and chances of human life, and to obey willingly the command to act or to suffer[52]. Without effort, as Hesiod has taught us, no greatness can be attained[53].
The ‘contrary twist.’
403. In youth bad habits are apt to acquire some strength before they can be rooted out, and it will be well to anticipate this evil by exercising body and soul in advance in a direction contrary to that of the most common temptations. The teacher will therefore give to his precepts an exaggerated character, reckoning upon human frailty to bring about a proper standard in practice[54]. Thus since luxury is a chief enemy of virtue, the body should at least occasionally be brought low. A practice approved by the example of eminent men is to mark out from time to time a few days for the exercise of the simple life; during this time life is to be maintained on coarse bread and water, in rough dress and all the surroundings of poverty[55]. Since Cynism is a ‘short cut to virtue[56],’ philosophers may well employ the methods of Diogenes for short periods, as a corrective to any tendency to excess; rich people do as much for love of change[57].
Personal appearance.
404. On the question of personal appearance there is much to be said on both sides. Foppishness is a disagreeable vice, and it is contemptible that a young man should smell of perfumes. On the other hand a total disregard of appearances is not approved by the Stoics; ‘it is against nature’ says Seneca ‘to be averse to neatness in appearance[58].’ In these outward matters a sensible man will conform to fashion, nor will he wish to make the name of philosopher still more unpopular than it is[59]. The founders of Stoicism laid it down that men and women should wear the same dress; but the later teachers laid stress on the natural distinction of the sexes; and to men the beard should be an object of just pride, for it is more becoming than the cock’s comb, or the lion’s mane[60]. This is to the Stoic a point of honour; he should part with his head more readily than with his beard[61]. But the beard may be trimmed; for, as Zeno has observed, nature provides rather against the ‘too little’ than against the ‘too much,’ and reason must come to her help. Women do right to arrange their hair so as to make themselves more beautiful; but for men any kind of artistic hair-dressing is contemptible[62].
Solitude and society.
405. The young should train themselves alternately to bear solitude and to profit by society[63]: since the wise man is never dependent on his friends, though none can take better advantage of them[64]. In living alone a man follows the example of the deity, and comes to know his own heart[65]. But solitude must not be a screen for secret vices; a man only uses it rightly when he can without shame picture the whole world watching his hours of privacy[66]. The right choice of friends calls for true wisdom; for the soul cannot but be soiled by bad company[67]. The only true friendship is based on the mutual attraction of good folk[68]; therefore the wise are friends one to another even whilst they are unacquainted[69]. It is well to consider much before choosing a friend, but afterwards to give him implicit trust[70]; for a true friend is a second self[71]. Such friendship can only arise from the desire to love and be loved[72]; those who seek friends for their own advantage, will be abandoned by them in the day of trial[73]. In the companionship of well-chosen friends there grows up the ‘common sense,’ which is an instinctive contact with humanity as a whole, making each man a partner in the thoughts and needs of all around him. This feeling is a principal aim of philosophy[74]. But the young philosopher should make no enemies; he should be free from that dislike of others which so often causes a man to be disliked, and should remember that he who is an enemy to-day may be a friend to-morrow[75].