These statements, of course, prove nothing, but they may perhaps derive some value from the fact that they are made by so many different observers. The statistical investigation of Professor Alphonse de Candolle, bearing upon the same question, rests on firmer ground. He has found, from facts collected in Switzerland, North Germany, and Belgium, that marriages are most commonly contracted between persons with different colours of the eye, except in the case of brown-eyed women, who are generally considered more attractive than others.[2061] He has noted, further, that the number of children is considerably smaller in families where the parents have the same colour of the eye than where the reverse is the case.[2062] But Professor Wittrock could not, in Sweden, find any such difference in fecundity between the two categories of marriages;[2063] and Mr. Galton observes, “Whatever may be the sexual preferences for similarity or for contrast, I find little indication in the average results obtained from a fairly large number of cases, of any single measurable personal peculiarity, whether it be stature, temper, eye-colour or artistic tastes, influencing marriage selection to a notable degree.”[2064]
If contrasts instinctively seek each other, this may partly account for the readiness with which love awakens love. Every one knows some unhappy lover who has never been able to win the heart of the person he adores; but in most cases, I should say, love is mutual. And this, perhaps, is owing not only to the contagiousness of the passion, but also to the attractive power of contrasts, which acts equally upon both parties. Thus we might explain, to some extent, the extreme variation of tastes, and the fact that, besides the general standard of beauty common to the whole race, there exists a more detailed ideal special to each individual.
[CHAPTER XVI]
SEXUAL SELECTION AS INFLUENCED BY AFFECTION AND SYMPATHY, AND BY CALCULATION
Sexual love is the passion which unites the sexes. The stimulating impressions produced by health, youth, and beauty, and ornaments and other artificial means of attraction, are all elements of this feeling. The antipathy to sexual intercourse with individuals of another species, and the horror of incest, belong to the same phenomenon. But the psychology of love is by no means exhausted by this. “Simple et primitif comme toutes les forces colossales,” says Professor Mantegazza, “l’amour paraît pourtant formé des éléments de toutes les passions humaines.”[2065] Around the sexual appetite as the leading element there are aggregated many different feelings, such as admiration, pleasure of possession, love of freedom, self-esteem, and love of approbation.[2066] A complete analysis of love would fill a volume. Here I shall discuss only one of the most important elements of this highly compound feeling, the sentiment of affection.
In the lower stages of human development sexual affection is much inferior in intensity to the tender feelings with which parents embrace their children; and among several peoples it seems to be almost unknown. Thus, speaking of the Hovas in Madagascar, Mr. Sibree says that, among them, until the spread of Christianity, there was “no lack of strong affection between blood-relations—parents and children, brothers and sisters, grandparents and grandchildren;” but the idea of love between husband and wife was hardly thought of.[2067] On the Gold Coast, says Major Ellis, “love, as understood by the people of Europe, has no existence.”[2068] At Winnebah, according to Mr. Duncan, “not even the appearance of affection exists between husband and wife;” and almost the same is asserted by M. Sabatier with reference to the Kabyles, by Signor Bonfanti with reference to the Bantu race.[2069] Munzinger says that, among the Beni-Amer, it is considered even disgraceful for a wife to show any affection for her husband.[2070] The Chittagong Hill tribes, according to Captain Lewin, have “no idea of tenderness, nor of chivalrous devotion.” Marriage is among them regarded as merely a convenient and animal connection.[2071] In the Island of Ponapé, according to Dr. Finsch, love in our sense of the term is entirely unknown.[2072] As regards the Eskimo of Newfoundland, Heriot asserts, “Like all other men in the savage state, they treat their wives with great coldness and neglect, but their affection towards their offspring is lively and tender.”[2073] In Greenland, a man thought nothing of beating his wife, but it was an heinous offence for a mother to chastise her children.[2074] Almost the same is said of the Kutchin by Mr. Jones, and of the Eskimo of Norton Sound by Mr. Dall.[2075] According to Mr. Morgan, the refined passion of love is unknown to the North American Indians in general.[2076]
Such statements, however, may easily be misleading. The love of a savage is certainly very different from the love of a civilized man; nevertheless, we may discover in it traces of the same ingredients. There are facts which tend to show that even very rude savages may have conjugal affection; nay, that among certain uncivilized peoples it has reached a remarkably high degree of development.
Among the wretched Bushmans, according to Mr. Chapman, there is love in all their marriages.[2077] Among the races of the Upper Congo, love is ennobled by a certain poetry;[2078] and with the Touaregs, there is a touch of almost chivalrous sentiment in the relations between men and women.[2079] Regarding the man-eating Niam-Niam, Dr. Schweinfurth asserts that they display an affection for their wives which is unparalleled among other natives of an equally low grade.[2080]
The Hos are good husbands and wives, and although they have no terms in their own language to express the higher emotions, “they feel them all the same.”[2081] The missionary Jellinghaus found tokens of affectionate love between married people among the Munda Kols, Mr. Fawcett among the Savaras, Sir Spenser St. John among the Sea Dyaks, Mr. Man among the Andamanese.[2082] In New Caledonia, says M. Moncelon, “l’amour existe, et j’ai vu des suicides par amour.”[2083] In Samoa, stories of affectionate love between husband and wife are preserved in song.[2084] In Tonga, according to Mariner, most of the women were much attached to their husbands;[2085] and in Fiji, says Dr. Seemann, “even widowers, in the depth of their grief, have frequently terminated their existence, when deprived of a dearly beloved wife.”[2086] In several of the Australian tribes, married people are often much attached to each other, and continue to be so even when they grow old.[2087] Concerning the aborigines of Victoria, Daniel Bunce says it is an error to suppose that there exists no settled love or lasting affection between the sexes; among the Narrinyeri, Mr. Taplin has known as well-matched and loving couples as he has among Europeans; and, according to Mr. Bonney, husband and wife among the natives of the River Darling, rarely quarrel, and “they show much affection for each other in their own way.”[2088]
Among the Eskimo of the north-east coast of North America, visited by Lyon, “young couples are frequently seen rubbing noses, their favourite mark of affection, with an air of tenderness.”[2089] The Tacullies, as Harman informs us, are remarkably fond of their wives.[2090] And Mr. Catlin goes even so far as to deny that the North American Indians are “in the least behind us in conjugal, in filial, and in paternal affection,”[2091]—a statement with which Mr. Morgan does not agree. Mr. Brett asserts that, among the natives of Guiana, instances of conjugal attachment are very frequent.[2092] Azara and Mantegazza found tokens of it among some other South American tribes;[2093] and the rude Fuegians are said to “show a good deal of affection for their wives.”[2094]