In the sexual impulse itself there are elements which lead to domination on the part of the man and to submission on the part of the woman. In courtship, animal and human alike, the male plays the more active, the female the more passive part. During the season of love the males even of the most timid animal species engage in desperate combats with each other for the possession of the female, and there can be no doubt that our primeval human ancestors had, in the same way, to fight for their wives; even now this kind of courtship is far from being unknown among savages.[216] Moreover, the male pursues and tries to capture the female, and she, after some resistance, finally surrenders herself to him. The sexual impulse of the male is thus connected with a desire to win the female, and the sexual impulse of the female with a desire to be pursued and won by the male. In the female sex there is consequently an instinctive appreciation of manly strength and courage; this is found in most women, and especially in the women of savage races, who, like the females of the lower Vertebrates, commonly give the preference to “the most vigorous, defiant, and mettlesome male.”[217] And woman enjoys the display of manly force even when it turns against herself. It is said that among the Slavs of the lower class the wives feel hurt if they are not beaten by their husbands; that the peasant women in some parts of Hungary do not think they are loved by their husbands until they have received the first box on the ear; that among the Italian Camorrists a wife who is not beaten by her husband regards him as a fool.[218] Dr. Havelock Ellis believes that the majority of women would probably be prepared to echo the remark made by a woman in front of Rubens’s ‘Rape of the Sabines,’ “I think the Sabine women enjoyed being carried off like that.”[219] The same judicious student of the psychology of sex observes:—“While in men it is possible to trace a tendency to inflict pain, or the simulacrum of pain, on the women they love, it is still easier to trace in women a delight in experiencing physical pain when inflicted by a lover, and an eagerness to accept subjection to his will. Such a tendency is certainly normal. To abandon herself to her lover, to be able to rely on his physical strength and mental resourcefulness, to be swept out of herself and beyond the control of her own will, to drift idly in delicious submission to another and stronger will—this is one of the commonest aspirations in a young woman’s intimate love-dreams.”[220]
[216] Westermarck, op. cit. p. 159 sqq.
[217] Westermarck, op. cit. p. 255 sq.
[218] Havelock Ellis, Studies in the Psychology of Sex, ‘Analysis of the Sexual Impulse,’ &c. p. 66 sq.
[219] Ibid. p. 75.
[220] Ibid. p. 74.
But although a certain degree of submissiveness comes within the normal limits of female love, though “a woman may desire to be forced, to be roughly forced, to be ravished away beyond her own will.” she all the time only desires to be forced towards those things which are essentially agreeable to her.[221] If the man’s domination is carried beyond those limits, it is no longer enjoyed by the woman, but is felt as a burden, and may call forth resistance. In extreme cases of oppression, at any rate, the community at large would sympathise with her, and the public resentment against the oppressor would gradually result in customs or laws limiting the husband’s rights. Yet perfect impartiality is hardly to be expected from the community. The men are the leaders of public opinion, and they have a tendency to favour their own sex. On the other hand, the offended woman may count upon the support of her fellow-sisters, and thus the women combined may influence tribal habits and, ultimately, the rules of custom. Among the Papuans of Port Moresby, for instance, “it is a rare occurrence for a man to beat his wife, and he does not like to be reminded of the fact if hasty temper has led him into this mistake. The other women generally make a song about it, and sing it whenever he appears; and as no one is so sensitive of ridicule as a New Guinean savage, he will endure a great deal, even from a shrew wife, before he attempts to lift his hand.”[222] Among the West African Fulah, if a man repudiates his wife, the women of the village attack him en masse; “like the members of a priesthood, they hate but protect each other.”[223] We have, moreover, to consider that the children’s affection and regard for their mother gives her a power which is no less real because it is not definitely expressed in custom or law. In Oriental countries, for example, the mother is always an important personage in the family. Children are afraid of their father but love their mother, and when grown-up would certainly be ready to protect her against a cruel husband.[224]
[221] Ibid. p. 85.
[222] Nisbet, A Colonial Tramp, ii. 181 sq.
[223] Reade, Savage Africa, p. 452. See also Möller, Pagels, and Gleerup, op. cit. i. 171 (Lukungu); Munzinger, Ostafrikanische Studien, p. 324 (Beni Amer).