To abstain from marrying when a man has attained a sufficient age, and when there is no just impediment, is esteemed, by the Egyptians, improper, and even disreputable. For being myself guilty of this fault (to use no harsher term), I have suffered much inconvenience and discomfort during my stay in this country, and endured many reproaches. During my former visit to Egypt, having occasion to remove from a house which I had occupied for some months in a great thoroughfare-street in Cairo, I engaged another house, in a neighbouring quarter: the lease was written, and some money paid in advance; but a day or two after, the agent of the owner came to inform me that the inhabitants of the quarter, who were mostly “shereefs” (or descendants of the Prophet), objected to my living among them, because I was not married. He added, however, that they would gladly admit me if I would even purchase a female slave, which would exempt me from the opprobrium cast upon me by the want of a wife. I replied, that, being merely a sojourner in Egypt, I did not like to take either a wife or female slave, whom I must soon abandon: the money that I had paid was, therefore, returned to me. In another quarter, I was less unfortunate; such heavy objections on account of my being unmarried were not raised: I was only required to promise that no persons wearing hats should come into the quarter to visit me; yet, after I had established myself in my new residence, the sheykh (or chief) of the quarter often endeavoured to persuade me to marry. All my arguments against doing so he deemed of no weight. “You tell me,” said he, “that in a year or two you mean to leave this country: now, there is a young widow, who, I am told, is handsome, living within a few doors of you, who will be glad to become your wife, even with the express understanding that you shall divorce her when you quit this place; though, of course, you may do so before, if she should not please you.” This young damsel had several times contrived to let me catch a glimpse of a pretty face, as I passed the house in which she and her parents lived. What answer could I return? I replied, that I had actually, by accident, seen her face, and that she was the last woman I should wish to marry, under such circumstances: for I was sure that I could never make up my mind to part with her. But I found it rather difficult to silence my officious friend.—It has been mentioned before, in the Introduction, that an unmarried man, or one who has not a female slave, is usually obliged to dwell in a wekáleh, unless he has some near relation with whom to reside; but that Franks are now exempted from this restriction.
The Egyptian females arrive at puberty much earlier than the natives of colder climates. Many marry at the age of twelve or thirteen years; and some remarkably precocious girls are married at the age of ten:[[275]] but such occurrences are not common. Few remain unmarried after sixteen years of age. An Egyptian girl at the age of thirteen, or even earlier, may be a mother. The women of Egypt are generally very prolific; but females of other countries residing here are often childless; and the children of foreigners, born in Egypt, seldom live to a mature age, even when the mother is a native. It was on this account that the emancipated Memlooks (or military slaves) usually adopted Memlooks.
It is very common among the Arabs of Egypt and of other countries, but less so in Cairo than in other parts of Egypt, for a man to marry his first cousin. In this case, the husband and wife continue to call each other “cousin;” because the tie of blood is indissoluble; but that of matrimony very precarious. A union of this kind is generally lasting, on account of this tie of blood; and because mutual intercourse may have formed an attachment between the parties in tender age; though, if they be of the higher or middle classes, the young man is seldom allowed to see the face of his female cousin, or even to meet and converse with her, after she has arrived at or near the age of puberty, until she has become his wife.
Marriages in Cairo are generally conducted, in the case of a virgin, in the following manner; but in that of a widow, or a divorced woman, with little ceremony. Most commonly, the mother, or some other near female relation, of the youth or man who is desirous of obtaining a wife, describes to him the personal and other qualifications of the young woman with whom she is acquainted, and directs his choice:[[276]] or he employs a “khát’beh,” or “khátibeh;” a woman whose regular business it is to assist men in such cases. Sometimes two or more women of this profession are employed. A khát’beh gives her report confidentially, describing one girl as being like a gazelle, pretty and elegant and young; and another, as not pretty, but rich, and so forth. If the man have a mother and other near female relations, two or three of these usually go with a khát’beh to pay visits to several hareems, to which she has access in her professional character of a matchmaker; for she is employed as much by the women as by the men. She sometimes also exercises the trade of a “delláleh” (or broker) for the sale of ornaments, clothing, etc., which procures her admission into almost every hareem. The women who accompany her in search of a wife for their relation are introduced to the different hareems merely as ordinary visitors; and as such, if disappointed, they soon take their leave, though the object of their visit is of course understood by the other party: but if they find among the females of a family (and they are sure to see all who are marriageable) a girl or young woman having the necessary personal qualifications, they state the motive of their visit, and ask, if the proposed match be not at once disapproved of, what property, ornaments, etc., the object of their wishes may possess. If the father of the intended bride be dead, she may perhaps possess one or more houses, shops, etc.; and in almost every case, a marriageable girl of the middle or higher ranks has a set of ornaments of gold and jewels. The women-visitors, having asked these and other questions, bring their report to the expectant youth or man. If satisfied with their report, he gives a present to the khát’beh, and sends her again to the family of his intended wife, to make known to them his wishes. She generally gives an exaggerated description of his personal attractions, wealth, etc. For instance, she will say, of a very ordinary young man, of scarcely any property, and of whose disposition she knows nothing, “My daughter, the youth who wishes to marry you is young, graceful, elegant, beardless, has plenty of money, dresses handsomely, is fond of delicacies, but cannot enjoy his luxuries alone; he wants you as his companion; he will give you everything that money can procure; he is a stayer-at-home, and will spend his whole time with you, caressing and fondling you.”
The parents may betroth their daughter to whom they please, and marry her to him without her consent, if she be not arrived at the age of puberty; but after she has attained that age, she may choose a husband for herself, and appoint any man to arrange and effect her marriage. In the former case, however, the khát’beh and the relations of a girl sought in marriage usually endeavour to obtain her consent to the proposed union. Very often, a father objects to giving a daughter in marriage to a man who is not of the same profession or trade as himself; and to marrying a younger daughter before an elder.[[277]] The bridegroom can scarcely ever obtain even a surreptitious glance at the features of his bride, until he finds her in his absolute possession, unless she belong to the lower classes of society; in which case, it is easy enough for him to see her face.
When a female is about to marry, she should have a “wekeel” (or deputy) to settle the compact, and conclude the contract, for her, with her proposed husband. If she be under the age of puberty, this is absolutely necessary; and in this case, her father, if living, or (if he be dead) her nearest adult male relation, or a guardian appointed by will, or by the Kádee, performs the office of wekeel: but if she be of age, she appoints her own wekeel, or may even make the contract herself; though this is seldom done.
After a youth or man has made choice of a female to demand in marriage, on the report of his female relations, or that of the khát’beh, and, by proxy, made the preliminary arrangements before described with her and her relations in the hareem, he repairs with two or three of his friends to her wekeel. Having obtained the wekeel’s consent to the union, if the intended bride be under age, he asks what is the amount of the required “mahr” (or dowry).
The giving of a dowry is indispensable, as I have mentioned in a former chapter. It is generally calculated in “riyáls,” of ninety faddahs (now equivalent to five pence and two-fifths) each. The riyál is an imaginary money, not a coin. The usual amount of the dowry, if the parties be in possession of a moderately good income, is about a thousand riyáls (or twenty-two pounds ten shillings); or, sometimes, not more than half that sum. The wealthy calculate the dowry in purses, of five hundred piasters (now, five pounds sterling) each; and fix its amount at ten purses, or more. It must be borne in mind that we are considering the case of a virgin-bride; the dowry of a widow or a divorced woman is much less. In settling the amount of the dowry, as in other pecuniary transactions, a little haggling frequently takes place: if a thousand riyáls be demanded through the wekeel, the party of the intended bridegroom will probably make an offer of six hundred: the former party then gradually lowering the demand, and the other increasing the offer, they at length agree to fix it at eight hundred. It is generally stipulated that two-thirds of the dowry shall be paid immediately before the marriage contract is made; and the remaining third held in reserve, to be paid to the wife in case of divorcing her against her own consent, or in case of the husband’s death.
This affair being settled, and confirmed by all persons present reciting the opening chapter of the Kur-án (the Fát’hah), an early day (perhaps the day next following) is appointed for paying the money, and performing the ceremony of the marriage-contract, which is properly called “’akd ennikáh.”[[278]] The making this contract is commonly called “ketb el-kitáb” (or the writing of the writ); but it is very seldom the case that any document is written to confirm the marriage, unless the bridegroom is about to travel to another place, and fears that he may have occasion to prove his marriage where witnesses of the contract cannot be procured. Sometimes the marriage-contract is concluded immediately after the arrangement respecting the dowry, but more generally a day or two after. On the day appointed for this ceremony, the bridegroom, again accompanied by two or three of his friends, goes to the house of the bride, usually about noon, taking with him that portion of the dowry which he has promised to pay on this occasion. He and his companions are received by the bride’s wekeel; and two or more friends of the latter are usually present. It is necessary that there be two witnesses (and those must be Muslims) to the marriage-contract, unless in a situation where witnesses cannot be procured. All persons present recite the Fát’hah; and the bridegroom then pays the money. After this, the marriage-contract is performed. It is very simple. The bridegroom and the bride’s wekeel sit upon the ground, face to face, with one knee upon the ground, and grasp each other’s right hand, raising the thumbs, and pressing them against each other. A fikee[[279]] is generally employed to instruct them what they are to say. Having placed a handkerchief over their joined hands, he usually prefaces the words of the contract with a “khutbeh,” consisting of a few words of exhortation and prayer, with quotations from the Kur-án and Traditions, on the excellency and advantages of marriage. He then desires the bride’s wekeel to say, “I betroth [or marry], to thee, my daughter [or the female who has appointed me her wekeel], such a one [naming the bride], the virgin[[280]] [or the adult virgin], for a dowry of such an amount.” (The words “for a dowry,” etc., are sometimes omitted.) The bride’s wekeel having said this, the bridegroom, prompted in the same manner by the fikee, says, “I accept from thee her betrothal [or marriage] to myself, and take her under my care, and bind myself to afford her my protection; and ye who are present bear witness of this.” The wekeel addresses the bridegroom in the same manner a second and a third time; and each time, the latter replies as before. They then generally add, “And blessing be on the Apostles, and praise be to God, the Lord of all creatures: amen:” after which, all present again repeat the Fát’hah. It is not always the same form of “khutbeh” that is recited on these occasions: any form may be used; and it may be repeated by any person: it is not even necessary; and is often altogether omitted. The contract concluded, the bridegroom sometimes (but seldom unless he be a person of the lower orders) kisses the hands of his friends and others there present; and they are presented with sherbet, and generally remain to dinner. Each of them receives an embroidered handkerchief, provided by the family of the bride; excepting the fikee, who receives a similar handkerchief, with a small gold coin tied up in it, from the bridegroom. Before the persons assembled on this occasion disperse, they settle when the “leylet ed-dukhleh” is to be: this is the night when the bride is brought to the house of the bridegroom, and the latter, for the first time, visits her.
In general, the bridegroom waits for his bride about eight or ten days after the conclusion of the contract. Meanwhile, he sends to her, two or three or more times, some fruit, sweetmeats, etc.; and perhaps makes her a present of a shawl, or some other article of value. The bride’s family are at the same time occupied in preparing for her a stock of household furniture (as deewáns, matting, carpets, bedding, kitchen-utensils, etc.) and dress. The portion of the dowry which has been paid by the bridegroom, and generally a much larger sum (the additional money, which is often more than the dowry itself, being supplied by the bride’s family), is expended in purchasing the articles of furniture, dress, and ornaments, for the bride. These articles, which are called “gaház,” are the property of the bride; and if she be divorced, she takes them away with her. She cannot, therefore, with truth, be said to be purchased.[[281]] The furniture is sent, commonly borne by a train of camels, to the bridegroom’s house. Often, among the articles of the gaház is a chair for the turban or head-dress, alluded to in a former page. It is of a large size, but slight make; the bottom and back generally of cane-work; sometimes with a canopy. It is never used to sit upon. The turban, when placed upon it, is covered with a kerchief of thick silk stuff, usually ornamented with gold thread. There are sometimes sent two of these chairs; one for the husband and the other for the wife.