In polite society, various other formal salutations and compliments follow the selám. To most of these there are particular replies; or two or more different forms of reply may be used in some cases; but to return any that custom has not prescribed would be considered as a proof of ignorance or vulgarity. When a person asks his friend, “How is your health?” the latter replies, “Praise be to God!” and it is only by the tone of voice in which he makes this answer, that the inquirer can infer whether he be well or ill. When one greets the other with “Teiyibeen,” the usual reply is, “God bless thee,” or “God preserve thee.” A friend or acquaintance, on meeting another whom he has not seen for several days, or for a longer period, generally says, after the selám, “Thou hast made us desolate [by thy absence from us];” and is usually answered, “May God not make [us] desolate by thy absence.”—The ordinary set compliments in use in Egyptian society are so numerous, that a dozen pages of this work would not suffice for the mention of those which may be heard almost every day.
When a person goes to the house of another, to pay a visit, or for any other purpose, he never enters unawares; for this is expressly forbidden by the Kur-án:[[323]] and particularly if he have to ascend to an upper apartment; in which case he should call out for permission, or announce his approach, as he goes upstairs, in the manner which I have had occasion to describe in a former chapter.[[324]] Should he find no person below, he generally claps his hands, at the door, or in the court; and waits for a servant to come down to him; or for permission to be given him to seat himself in a lower apartment, or to ascend to an upper room. On entering the room in which the master of the house is seated, he gives the selám. The master returns the salutation; and welcomes the visitor with courteousness and affability. To his superiors,[[325]] and generally to his equals, he rises. Persons more or less above him in rank he proceeds to meet in the court, or between the court and the room, or at the entrance of the room, or in the middle of the room, or a step from the place where he was sitting: but often, to equals, he merely makes a slight motion, as if about to rise; and to most inferiors, he remains undisturbed. To his superiors, and often to his equals, he yields the most honourable place, which is a corner of the deewán: it is that corner which is to the right of a person facing the upper end of the room. This end of the room is called the “sadr;” and the whole of the seat which extends along it is more honourable than those which extend along the sides; each of which is called “gemb.” Visitors inferior in rank to the master of the house never seat themselves at the upper end, unless invited to do so by him; and when so invited, they often decline the offered honour. His equals sit at their ease, cross-legged, or with one knee raised; and recline against the cushions: his inferiors (first, at least) often sit upon their heels; or take their place upon the edge of the deewán; or, if very much beneath him in grade, seat themselves upon the mat or carpet. In strict etiquette, the visitor should not, at first, suffer his hands to appear, when entering the room, or when seated; but should let the sleeves fall over them; and when he has taken his place on the deewán, he should not stretch out his legs, nor even allow his feet to be seen: but these rules are not often attended to, excepting in the houses of the great. Various formal compliments and salutations are given and returned after the selám; and some of them, particularly the expressions of “teiyibeen” and “eysh hál’kum,” are repeated several times during the same interview.
Sometimes the visitor’s own servant attends him with his pipe: the former takes his tobacco-purse out of his bosom, and gives it to the servant, who folds it up and returns it after having filled the pipe, or after the termination of the visit: otherwise, a servant of the host brings a pipe for the visitor, and one for his master; and next, a cup of coffee is presented to each;[[326]] for “tobacco without coffee,” say the Arabs, “is like meat without salt.” On receiving the pipe and the coffee, the visitor salutes the master of the house with the teymeeneh, which the latter returns; and the same is done on returning the cup to the servant. The master of the house also salutes his guest in the same manner, if the latter be not much beneath him in rank, on receiving and returning his own cup of coffee. Servants often remain in the room during the whole period of a visit, stationed at the lower end, in a respectful attitude, with their hands joined (the left within the right), and held before the girdle. The usual mode of summoning a servant or other attendant who is not present is by clapping the hands, striking the palm of the left hand with the fingers of the right: the windows being of open lattice-work, the sound is heard throughout the house.—The subjects of conversation are generally the news of the day, the state of trade, the prices of provisions, and sometimes religion and science. Facetious stories are often related; and, very frequently, persons in the best society tell tales, and quote proverbs, of the most indecent nature. In good society, people seldom talk of each other’s hareems; but intimate friends, and many persons who do not strictly observe the rules of good breeding, very often do so, and in a manner not always delicate. Genteel people inquire respecting each other’s “houses,” to ascertain whether their wives and families are well.—Visits not unfrequently occupy several hours; and sometimes (especially those of hareems), nearly a whole day. The pipes are replenished, or replaced by others, as often as is necessary: for, however long a visitor may stay, he generally continues smoking during the whole time; and sometimes coffee is brought again, or sherbet. The manner in which the coffee and sherbet are served has been before described. A person receives the same compliment after drinking a glass of sherbet as after taking a draught of water,[[327]] and replies to it in the same manner.
In the houses of the rich, it used to be a common custom to sprinkle the guest, before he rose to take his leave, with rose-water or orange-flower-water; and to perfume him with the smoke of some odoriferous substance; but of late years this practice has become unfrequent. The scent-bottle, which is called “kumkum,” is of plain or gilt silver, or fine brass, or china, or glass; and has a cover pierced with a small hole. The perfuming-vessel, or “mibkhar′ah,” is generally of one or the other of the metals above mentioned: the receptacle for the burning charcoal is lined, or half filled, with gypsum-plaster; and its cover is pierced with apertures for the emission of the smoke. The mibkhar′ah is used last: it is presented by a servant to the visitor or master, who wafts the smoke towards his face, beard, etc., with his right hand. Sometimes it is opened, to emit the smoke more freely. The substance most commonly used in the mibkhar′ah is aloes-wood, or benzoin, or cascarilla-bark. The wood is moistened before it is placed upon the burning coals. Ambergris is also used for the same purpose; but very rarely, and only in the houses of persons of great wealth, as it is extremely costly. As soon as the visitor has been perfumed, he takes his leave; but he should not depart without previously asking permission to do so, and then giving the selám, which is returned to him, and paying other set compliments, to which there are appropriate replies. If he be a person of much higher rank than the master of the house, the latter not only rises, but also accompanies him to the top of the stairs, or to the door of the room, and then commends him to the care of God.
KUMKUM AND MIBKHAR’AH.—Each is about eight inches high.
It is usual for a person, after paying a visit of ceremony, and on some other occasions, previously to his leaving the house, to give a small present (two or three piasters, or more, according to circumstances) to one, or to several, of the servants: and if his horse or mule or ass be waiting for him at the door, or in the court, one of the servants goes with him to adjust his dress when he mounts: this officious person particularly expects a present. When money is thus given to a man’s servants, it is considered incumbent upon their master to do exactly the same when he returns the visit.
Friends very often send presents to each other, merely for the sake of complying with common custom. When a person celebrates any private festivity, he generally receives presents from most of his friends; and it is a universal rule that he should repay the donor by a similar gift, or one of the same value, on a similar occasion. It is common for the receiver of a present, on such an event, even to express to the giver his hope that he may have to repay it on the occasion of a like festivity. An acknowledgment accompanied by such an allusion to the acquitment of the obligation imposed by the gift, which would be offensive to a generous European, is, in this country, esteemed polite. The present is generally wrapped in an embroidered handkerchief, which is returned, with a trifling pecuniary gratification, to the bearer. Fruit, laid upon leaves, and sweetmeats and other dainties, placed in a dish or on a tray, and covered with a rich handkerchief or napkin, are common presents. Very frequently, a present is given by a person to a superior with a view of obtaining something more valuable in return. This is often done by a servant to his master; and the gift is seldom refused; but often paid for immediately in money, more than equivalent. It is generally with the expectation above mentioned than an Arab gives a present to a European. The custom of giving money to the servants of a friend, after paying him a visit, is not now so common as it was a few years since; but it is still observed by most persons on the occasion of a visit of ceremony; and particularly on the two ’eeds, or religious festivals, and by the guests at private festivities. Other customs of a similar nature, which are observed at these festivities, will be described in a subsequent chapter. To decline the acceptance of a present generally gives offence; and is considered as reflecting disgrace upon the person who has offered it.
There are many formal usages which are observed in Egypt, not merely on the occasions of ceremonious visits, or in the company of strangers, or at the casual meetings of friends, but also in the ordinary intercourse of familiar acquaintances. When a man happens to sneeze, he says, “Praise be to God!” Each person present (servants generally excepted) then says to him, “God have mercy on you!” to which the former generally replies, “God guide us and guide you!” or he returns the compliment in words of a similar purport. Should he yawn, he puts the back of his left hand to his mouth, and then says, “I seek refuge with God from Satan the accursed!” but he is not complimented on this act; as it is one which should rather be avoided: for it is believed that the devil is in the habit of leaping into a gaping mouth. For a breach of good manners, it is more common to ask the pardon of God, than that of the present company,[company,] by saying, “I beg pardon of God, the Great!” When a man has just been shaved, or been to the bath, when he has just performed the ablution preparatory to prayer, when he has been saying his prayers, or doing any other meritorious act, when he has just risen from sleep, when he has purchased or put on any new article of dress, and on many other occasions, there are particular compliments to be paid to him, and particular replies for him to make.
It is a rule with the Muslims to honour the right hand and foot above the left: to use the right hand for all honourable purposes; and the left, for actions which, though necessary, are unclean: to put on and take off the right shoe before the left; and to put the right foot first over the threshold of a door.